The weekly round up of blog entries will not be making an appearance this week*. That is mostly because I have actually been away in China since Tuesday...ah, you see, the magic that is trickle posting. Anyhow there's plenty of good stuff around. For example, all of the blogs in the "Good Stuff" blogroll on the right, or any Munuvian you care to choose for the rapidly growing list.

What it leads to is far more important. "Weekly round-up" is a pretty lame name for a weekly round up. It is far too descriptive and obvious. So I'm opening the floor to any suggestions for a new name for it. What do you get if you win? Firstly the pleasure of having named what will one day become one of the most important postings on the web. Secondly, if you have a blog, you will automatically be the winning entrant for the first week on the newly named round up, plus you'll have an ongoing place in it for the next few posts (ie until I forget). If you don't have a blog you will be able to nominate any post you care for as the best for that week as the winner, plus you will be able to send to me posts for subsequent weeks until I get sick of you. Now that's a contest.

Finally one last thing to remember. My birthday is rapidly approaching (May 8 if you must know). For those who are wondering what to get the man that has everything, may I suggest taking advantage of my thoughtfully compiled and extensive Amazon wishlist. Just a suggestion.

Next week sees a return to more regular blogging.

* _{Please control your soul-crushing disappointment.}

It is time to use reality TV as a force for good, rather than evil. Here are some adaptions of common reality TV formats, adjusted to be enjoyed during the working day.

1. The previously mentioned Office Survivor and Office Survivor: Home Edition.

2. Changing Offices: get a work colleague to go to a meeting for an hour or two. It helps if they have an office or cubicle. While they are gone, freshen up their workspace. Paint the walls, re-arrange the furniture. Shabby chic is very in. Watch their delighted reaction when they return.

3. Office Blitz: get a work colleague to go to a meeting for an hour or two. It helps if they have an office or cubicle. While they are gone, get a team of experts in to give it the make-over it needs to turn it from a weed infested toxic waste dump into a pristine garden. Watch their delighted reaction when they return.

4. Desert Island Office: two variations of this one. Firstly make a list of 6 co-workers you wouldn't mind be stuck with on a 2 week residential live-in conference (must have equal male/female representation). Secondly, nominate 6 co-workers for the other players. You cannot use the same person twice, and you take turns nominating.

5. Office worker Firing Pool: at the start of the year write down a list of 10 people. You get points if any of those people leave the firm during that year. You get points in the following system: you get the number of years they have worked with the firm, plus a 25% bonus if the leaving is voluntary. You get double points if it's you (you may as well make the best of a bad situation).

6. Perfect mismatch: try and find the least compatible couple out of all your colleagues. Start spreading rumours they are an item, all the while measuring the compatability score and responses to various double entendres.

7. Fear factor: gain points by finding the worst boss with the worst reputation and volunteering for a task. Extra points if you finish with either your sanity or dignity.

8. The Apprentice: take the newest hire (or even better the work experience kid) and make them do the most meaningless and degrading tasks, before savaging their efforts and finishing with a "You're fired." Warning: this may not actually be a game.

Please feel free to add more.

There's been mention over the last few weeks both here and over at Andres about the Australian diaspora. It turns out Australia's Senate is looking into this very issue and is due to report in September. There is a link to an interesting report on the topic on the site too. I would venture that Australia has one of the largest per capita expat communities in the world. I am sure part of it is because we are a naturally brilliant and good looking group, wanted by the world. I am also sure it is because Australia is a world class place in terms of education but offers limited opportunities because of its remoteness and (lack of) population. But I do know that most Aussies that head overseas only ever see it as a temporary thing - at the end of the day most want to return "home" to the Lucky Country. Anyone who has ever been to Australia can understand why.

I do not understand why there is a prevalence of elevators in Hong Kong that service only odd or even floors. For those who counter it is quicker and more efficient, it is obvious you have never ridden one. Inevitably at least one person gets in the wrong lift and either tries to get out while they still can or they hit the nearest floor to change over. Instead you could have all the lifts servicing all the floors at the same time. Revolutionary, I know. That way there can be twice as many people charging in or out, thereby increasing the shoulder charging and full body contact that is elevator riding in Hong Kong.

Parenthood is a 20 year experiment in sleep deprivation.

The same Hello Kitty wearing hamster loving woman now has a framed photo of chicken on her desk, next to the reams of stuffed dolls and other bizarre miscellanea. This is getting seriously worrisome. Photographic proof in the extended entry.

Public toilets in Hong Kong have a mission statement, posted in each one. Seriously.

The Big Contest continues apace. Ubul is due in August, so there's plenty of time to add more suggestions to the pile. At the moment Mrs M and I are busy avoiding the topic, as any conversation that starts "What about the name..." tends to end in the other party laughing. Funnily enough so far there has been at least one suggestion that perfectly matches Mrs M's shortlist. None have mentioned Simon Junior for a boy, so there have been no matches with my list.

The Big Vote is telling me we're having a girl and it'll be early. Due date is about August 17th (which is PB's birthday). So far form tells us that a girl is a good bet, given JC and PB are both, well, girls. However both of them were a week late.

End result: it's not too late to vote or suggest names. If you've already done it, do it again. And if you've done it again and you're stuck for blog topics, why not advertise the contest on your site. It's an easy post. I'll even write it for you in the extended entry. That's the kind of service we offer here.

There's a great site I read every day, called Simon World. If more people read this site, there'd be world peace and an end to poverty. Simon's an interesting (and somewhat modest) guy. His wife, Mrs M, is pregnant with his third child. And he's running a contest to choose the baby's name as a way of ducking the parental hassle duty of coming up with baby names. I think he mentioned something about winning a car if you get the winning entry. Note I said I think. While you're there, he also is running a vote on the sex and timing of the birth. And you should sign his Guest Map too - you'll be in good company.

Lastly you should also read Simon World daily. It will make you a better person, more attractive to the opposite (or same if that's your thing) sex, smarter and has been known to increase height and improve senses of humour. Really.

I do not understand why Hong Kong has so many beautiful cars being driven so badly so often.

Some of the stuff I've got in the "Information" section over there on the right, just under the Archives, is really pretty good, if I do say so myself. You could do worse than look through that for a while, before working through those "My best" posts.

Well if I don't say it, no one else will.

My daily dose of spam includes copious offers of Viagra. Sure it's getting cheaper. But now the spammers need to include a health warning.

In an announcement that shocked no-one except his bank manager, accidental media star Craig Stevens announced he will step aside from the 400 metres swimming in the Olympics. When asked for his reasons, Stevens told Channel Seven's Today Tonight, "I've been told to take the money or..." before transmission was suddenly cut-off. Later Stevens was heard talking to friends in his dressing room, saying "Next time I'm going to put vasoline on his f*cking starting blocks myself! I just got $130,000 for this."

Of course you knew it was going to happen. When asked to comment, Ian Thorpe sponsor Uncle Toby's was heard to utter "That's a relief. Now we can get back to exploiting that tall kid instead." In other news, a mysterious series of phone calls, stalkings, attempted assaults and kidnappings against one C. Stevens, 23, will no longer be investigated. Constable K. Ellogg said "There wasn't any evidence after that mysterious fire in that particular corner of the evidence room last week." Prime Minister John Howard said, "On behalf of all Australians I'm glad the SAS team sent to, ummm, help Mr. Stevens have done their job professionally. We need an immediate increase in the defence budget to make sure no other shmucks stop Thorpie."

When asked to comment, Ian Thorpe had only this to say: "Gee, I'd better win that gold medal now." He was then escorted from the press conference by a group of PR hacks and SAS men.

China firmly shut the door on any prospect of universal sufferage. In an apt demonstration of Beijing expects things to be, the decision was announced to a packed house of some 900 invited guests, mostly senior business leaders, academics, pro-Beijing politicians and journalists. There were some prize quotes, which speak for themselves:

``Universal suffrage is not a free lunch. Everybody has to pay a price,'' Qiao Xiaoyang, deputy secretary-general of the NPC Standing Committee, said during a 45-minute speech. "Those who dare to say that there cannot be universal suffrage in 2007 and 2008 due to Hong Kong's actual situation and long-term interest, are truly courageous and willing to bear responsibility. They truly care for Hong Kong and its people."...

Qiao [Xiaoyang, deputy secretary-general of the NPC] criticised unnamed Hong Kong people for not fully understanding the one-country, two-systems framework and the Basic Law. ``Almost every day [since the handover], the Basic Law has been questioned, distorted and abused. This is an indisputable fact.'' A rush to democracy, he said, could prove harmful to the nation and lead to negative consequences. ``How can we be sure that there will be no damage to national sovereignty?'' he asked.

Despite the fact that Qiao represents the ruling elite of a communist nation, a key defence of the NPC's actions was to be found in the need to maintain the current system of functional constituencies in Legco, largely in order to protect Hong Kong's capitalists.

Calling Hong Kong a ``mature capitalist city'', Qiao cited Marxist doctrine in saying that the ``means of production'' must remain in private hands and that it was vital to ``protect the business sector's interests'' from being eroded by democracy which could cause Hong Kong to ``lose competitiveness''...

He acknowledged that there were many in Hong Kong who favoured universal suffrage but he said that following popular opinion was not a wise idea. ``A government led by the nose by opinion polls'' will fail, he cautioned.

I still maintain Beijing have solved very little by doing this. They'd be far better off to give a little and relieve the pressure. The key test will be the turnout for the July 1st march and Beijing's response to it. They may respond the only way they know how. It is the end of the beginning.

JC helpfully contributed to the naming of Ubul. So far her suggestions are Barbie, Pocahontas and Ariel. We are in negotations with Mattel and Disney as we speak. In the meantime if you think you can do better, give it a try. Don't be afraid to have a second attempt if you've already contributed.

The old saying: History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.
The new saying: History repeats as farce the first time when China's concerned. For example contrast Xinhau's WHO praises China's quick response to SARS return, which they admittedly did, but only after they said this: The WHO is concerned that the outbreak -- so far limited to two confirmed cases and six suspected -- could turn into an epidemic because the index patient, a medical researcher, had taken a long train journey after contracting the disease. And there's this: WHO is working closely with Chinese health authorities to confirm the status and full extent of this cluster, and to prevent further spread. The situation is considered potentially serious because of the multiple opportunities for exposures. To date, more than 300 contacts have been identified and placed under medical observation.

Ironic given the first quote is from Karl Marx.

Cancel my Big Mac, thanks. There's a worrying trend developing here. First the global CEO, now the founder of McDonald's Japan. I promise to not touch the stuff if I am ever a senior executive. It's obviously toxic for rich businessmen.

Yesterday was ANZAC Day. Far more than Australia Day, this is the day that Australia thanks and remembers its soldiers, past and present. In that uniquely Australian way, it is celebrated with a dawn service, a laying of wreaths, an extremely well-attended street march (in the main street of every town and city in the country) and games of two-up. Pixy has an extremely good summary of what ANZAC Day is all about. From the shores of Gallipoli to the sands of Iraq, it makes me ever prouder to be an Australian.

China has so far arrested 22 people in connection to the fake baby powder scandal. As an appropriate punishment they should feed those found guilty their powder for as long as each of those babies.

So there I was on Saturday walking down Queens Road, one of Hong Kong's busiest streets. And what should I happen to overhear but two Americans talking (and let's face it, it's hard not to hear two Americans talking) about the Bonfire of the Vanities. Who says blogs aren't having an impact. Admittedly the bonfire is about the week's worst posts by individual bloggers...but nevertheless I'll bet those two Americans didn't realise quite how close they were to one of bloggerdom's stars.

The sorry tale of two diners ejected for over-indulging is too good to leave alone.

Sui Amaama, who along with his wife have been on the Atkins Diet for two weeks, was asked to leave after he went up to the buffet at the Chuck-A-Rama in Salt Lake City, Utah, for his 12th slice of roast beef..."We went in to have dinner, we were under the impression Chuck-A-Rama was an all-you-can-eat establishment." Not so, said Jack Johanson, the restaurant chain's district manager.

The general manager who was carving the meat became concerned about having enough for other patrons and asked Amaama to stop, Johanson said. Offended, the couple asked for a refund. The manager refused and called police when they would not leave.

It's my boss Jeremy's birthday today, but I'm not meant to tell anyone.

Forget about the usual cacophony of war, suppression, political deadlock, SARS. There are far more important stories afoot today in Hong Kong. Taking pride of place on the front page is another win by a horse that has now won a small country's GDP for its connections. The win wasn't a surprise, given he was backed in at 1 to 10 on (that means of every $10 invested, you get only $1 if he wins). This is big news in Hong Kong.

Secondly it turns out my second home, Ocean Park, is engaging in some prudent succession planning. From the SCMP:

They were Beijing's post-handover "precious gift" to Hong Kong, luxuriating in an $80 million home, feted by thousands of fans and adored by visiting mainland dignitaries. But with Jia Jia and An An lumbering towards their twilight years, a new generation is needed to follow the childless panda couple. Ocean Park wants two baby pandas and has asked the Home Affairs Bureau for the government's help to secure a gift it dubbed "one country, four pandas"...Giant pandas are not the only animals on Ocean Park's shopping list under its massive plan to revamp the 27-year-old park. Others include killer whales, polar bears and penguins.

The SCMP also reports that Hemlock's friend, the Bowen Rd dog poisoner, has branched out:

Pet owners in Hong Kong are facing a new threat - a cat poisoner who appears to be following in the footsteps of the notorious Bowen Road dog poisoner. Five stray cats among a colony living in Victoria Park have fallen victim to the poisoner in the past few weeks. One died and one recovered. The others evaded rescuers trying to catch them to take them to a veterinarian...Dr Conway said the cat poisoner was someone who knew something about cat behaviour. "Unlike dogs, cats do not rush into food. They are more cautious and the Victoria Park cats are very well-fed." The Bowen Road dog poisoner has killed at least 20 dogs and injured up to 200 others since 1989 by leaving poison-laced meat - usually chicken - around the Mid-Levels area.

And so it is time for the weekly look at whatever caught my eye around the blogosphere this week. Or that I remember to keep the link to. A week's a long time in the blogosphere. Before that, don't forget the Caption Contest, which will remain open until I remember to close it, which should be Monday if the Outlook reminder function is working.

Pride of place this week goes to Adam's announcement that he is giving up blogging. For all those interested in China, Adam has been a key resource as well as being interesting and thoughtful, irrespective of whether you agree with him or not. He will be sorely missed.

Elsewhere there was plenty to go on with. Bill discovered an interesting, if disturbing, use of Barbie heads. You really need to read the comments on this one too. Iowahawk has photographic proof of an unreported civic disturbance. Helen got a haircut. Not so interesting? Maybe you should read it first and then decide. Giles rediscovers marmelade, all the while covering English history and current events at the same time (scroll down to "Breakfast").

As far too often happens, some in the blogosphere take the whole thing far too seriously. Kate looks at blogging as a form of "new media" and how it compares to journalism, although Functional Ambivalent has an interesting case why why Big Media should be scared of blogs. As is usual, Ilyka brings some common sense to the whole thing, while also talking about stupid white men. Appropriately Physics Geek has an obituary for someone close to us all. It also appears Munu may be gaining a future President of the USA in the ranks. The world domination plans continue apace.

In the looking back department I bring you two entries. Tennessee Ruck remembers SARS, a year ago this week. And Emma remembers some heroes who will never be forgotten.

Last but by no means least is the setting up of a new blog following the unfolding Oil-for-Food (UNSCAM) Scandal. There is information in the About post, and this is an issue that will continue to represent what is good about blogging. Persistence and determination. If you are new to the whole scandal or want to keep up with developments, keep your eye on this blog.

In my haste this morning to rant about fake baby formula I missed Hong Kong's newest method of harbour reclamation. From the SCMP:

The body of a baby boy was found floating off a rocky beach in Tai Po yesterday - the third dead infant found in the New Territories in eight days.

3000 people dead or injured. We think. The North Koreans haven't said anything about the world's worst train disaster, ever. If media reports are true, this could be more dead than 9/11. The only information so far has only come via China's Foreign Affairs website. They may have asked for the Red Cross's help. Then again, maybe they haven't.

But what was their first reaction to this catastrophe? From the Scotsman:

The communist government in Pyongyang declared an emergency in the area while cutting off international telephone lines to prevent crash details from leaking out, South Korea’s Yonhap news agency reported. The North’s official KCNA news agency still had not mentioned the disaster by today, a full day later.

There are some conflicting reports. From Reuters:

Trains between Beijing and Pyongyang were running as normal after a train explosion in North Korea was reported to have killed or injured up to 3,000 people, station officials and diplomatic sources said on Friday. A train from Beijing arrived in Pyongyang around 7 p.m. local time (1000 GMT) on Thursday, hours after the accident reported to have occurred at 0400 GMT, a diplomat in Pyongyang told Reuters. Another train from Pyongyang pulled into Beijing Railway Station at 8:34 a.m. local time (0034 GMT) on Friday, a station official said. The Beijing-Pyongyang link goes through Ryongchon county, where trains carrying gasoline and liquefied petroleum gas are reported to have collided at the station in the town of Ryongchon. But the collision could have happened on a side track and might not have affected the trunk line. A Beijing-based businessman said his contacts in Pyongyang indicated the scale of devastation was not as bad as reported in foreign media. "My lot in Pyongyang are saying it's all right," said the businessman, who asked not to be identified. "I'm saying 'can we travel in by train?' And they're saying 'yes'."

Its [North Korea's] official media made no mention of the disaster. Instead, according to the state news agency, Pyongyang newspapers were full of reports on Kim's China visit, fulsome tributes to his father, state founder Kim Il-sung, who died in 1994 and an item noting the closure of a festival devoted to the hybrid Kimilsungia flower, named after the elder Kim.

Station officials and diplomatic sources in Beijing said trains between Pyongyang and Beijing were running normally, but a South Korean businessman in Dandong told YTN television that cross-border train services had been suspended.

They have nuclear weapons. Now you know why so many people are worried about the place. They are the greatest threat to world peace, bar none.

UPDATE: Marmot has plenty more.

You are reading this from your home, at work, at a cafe. The internet, and blogs in particular, are one-on-one form of interaction. It is just you looking at the screen and reading, exercising your rights of privacy and to information with unfettered internet access. Not in China, and especially not in Shanghai. Just in case you forgot what China is really about.

There has been a growing scandal this week in China over fake baby formula. While China is well known for its trade in fakes, this has directly lead to deaths and severe impairment of literally hundreds of babies. And it is getting worse. From the Straits Times:

In a sign that the scandal could be widening, local newspapers in at least eight provinces reported bogus infant formula which contains only tiny fractions of the recommended amounts of protein, iron and other nutrients...Hospitals in Fuyang have reported that since May last year, 171 infants have suffered malnutrition after being fed the fake milk powder. Most were three to five months old...The fake formula had been traced to 141 factories in six provinces as well as in Beijing and Shanghai and Inner Mongolia.

There are two words to describe those behind this: sick f*cks.

In better news, SARS is back.

UPDATE: Conrad has more, including the non-shocking revelation that corrupt local officials knew about this last year. At times like this, it is re-assuring to know China has the death penalty.

I sincerely hope they had appropriate prophylatics handy.

Caption contests seem all the rage these days. Have a look at the picture in the extended entry and give it your best shot. Random prizes for the winner.

UPDATE: I'm going to call it a dead heat (get it?) between Grinder's "So, will this be the last time you play strip chess?"and Paul's "Skin This Site".

My effort: "I SAID: YOUR MOVE!"

If anyone, especially members of the legal profession, can explain to me the logic of barristers' immunity from negligence suits, I would be delighted to hear it. I do not know if this immunity exists in the USA, but certainly it stands in most common law countries.

If someone can present a compelling argument why this immunity should still exist I will donate HK$100 to a charity of their choice.

The Singaporean Government is worried local English standards are declining, corrupted by Singlish, lah. Which is evident if you've ever spoken to a Singaporean in English, lah. Every sentence ends in lah, lah. Some examples of Singlish:

But people here also speak a patois - known as Singlish - which is a mishmash of Chinese dialects, Malay, Tamil and English. "Wah lau, you makan yet?" means "Have you eaten yet?" and "Hey he talk cock, lah" is "He talks a lot of nonsense." Or "So kiasu, one" is "He is really aggressive."

A follow-up on yesterday's post on unsustainability of China's bubble. Andres Gentry, now travelling, was living in Zhangjiagang (his reflections on being a foreigner in China make good reading.) He writes:

...there's a whole lot of construction going on in that town [Zhangjiagang] and almost all of it is empty. Where's the money coming from to finance housing developments for which there cannot possibly be enough takers?

...

Here in Anqing overdevelopment is not a problem. However, any collapse in credit (i.e., when people start having to face China's bad loan problem) is going to devastate this place since it's already behind the rest of the country. In Zhangjiagang many of the immigrants are from Anhui province. This place is poor and if the east coast has problems with a depression, well, it sure isn't going to be better here.

Taiwan, anyone?

Hong Kong has again proved itself a world class city, able to match with the very best that others have to offer. This time it is incompetence and waste. While the debacle expat carnival known as Harbour Fest has been ridiculed by many, it is now the turn of the Government Auditor. There is nothing new in the report except the nastiness in all its glory.

The key points:
1. The American Chamber of Commerce, as the organiser, had no hope in hell of getting the whole thing together in 3 months when most festivals take up to 2 years to plan.
2. Ticket sales were abyssmal, because there wasn't enough time or promotion of the events. Additionally the performers were not a good mix, with some events having less than 1/3 seats full despite copious amounts of free tickets.
3. The Government paid for $100mm of the $156mm bill. Tickets basically covered the rest. To show for it, the Government has a video that MTV has played 3 times at midnight and now sits on someone's desk marked "Filler". From the SCMP: The report said a Harbour Fest video had been watched by less than 1 million families in the United States, rather than 100 million homes with television as targeted by the organiser. The show was aired only three times on the MTV and MTV2 networks and it is unlikely to be screened on the ABC network.
4. The Government required no feasibility study or account for the organiser's (AmCham) ability to stage the festival.
5. The Government group that was meant to supervise the investment of the money, didn't.

The hard numbers on ticket sales are embarrassing. Of almost 208,000 seats only 126,000 people attended (60%). Of that 126,000 38,000 were actually given away, leaving 88,000 real paying customers. Set aside the morality of giving away so many tickets to some while others were paying up to $1500 to see concerts. These figures are flattered by the almost full houses for the Rolling Stones and Santana. The Stones drew 24,000 people. Take that out and only 102,000 people attended 15 other concerts - in other words most concerts were only a quarter full at best. At worst, for the "Asian All-Star" night, only 2,000 tickets were sold. Acutally, I should say that's an amazing amount to sell given the low quality of offerings that night. They couldn't even give tickets away: only 2,700 free tickets were given out, making a total of 4,700, or less than 20% of capacity.

What still amazes is that no-one has resigned over this. There has been no accountability over what has proved to be a massive waste of taxpayer money with absolutely no benefit at all to the people of Hong Kong.

World class stuff.

It is important to know that world leaders get along. Especially in a region as volatile as East Asia. And especially when North Korea is invovled. So it is good to see China working hard to maintain a close relationship with the North Koreans, trying to keep their nuclear ambitions in check.

But there's close, and then there's too close.

North Korean despot Kim Jong-Il moves to snog ex-Chinese President Jiang Zemin, consumating a decades long love affair.

Savoury is only for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sweet is for every other time.

This helpful dietary tip brought to you courtesy of my afternoon chocolate sundae.

There is a battle going on that I bet you didn't know about. It is a battle of cliches: China boom (Google gives 828,000 hits) vs China bubble (452,000). Clearly the bubble has a way to go to catch up. But it is the clearest current threat to the emerging world economic recovery. America seems to be back on its feet, Europe is through the worst and even Japan may have finally kicked 12 years of depression and deflation. And they've all got China to thank. But will they be there for China when the shoe's on the other foot?

China has sucked in a huge amount of the world's exports to help continue its rapid expansion. China has been responsible for one quarter of all the world's economic growth in the past 5 years. And it is clearly unsustainable. People are getting worried, including the Chinese themselves.

The question becomes what can they do about it? And herein lies the problem. China is not a normal economy. Having a fixed exchange rate means they effectively have no monetary policy (ie control over interest rates). Or it would in a normal economy. But being China, they can direct banks to change their level of interest, so this tool still remains open. However credit isn't allocated on the basis of price in China (the price being interest rates). It is often allocated acording to political dictates. This means their banks have bad loans of 50% of assets (and potentially more) it isn't easy to raise rates. Even more so when much of state sector, still the largest part of China's economy, relies on easy credit to stay in business and to keep literally millions employed. The People's Bank have increased bank reserves thrice in a ayear to limit the free flow of credit but that hasn't helped. Nor has a central Government directive to basically stop lending to the sectors they consider to be overheating (steel, cars, cement, aluminium and property), yet.

Effectively China does not allocate it's capital efficiently. That means that deserving investments miss out while undeserving ones get loans; and it means savers get ripped off by low rates. To make matters worse the fixed exchange rate and large influx of foreign money means the People's Bank has to continually sell yuan to buy the foreign currency. This creates evermore liquidity, leading to an inflationary spiral. Hence the ongoing pressure on the fixed exchange rate and the inevitablity of a revaluation of the yuan. When that happens, suddenly China's demand for US Treasury bonds and dollars will drop and that will mean drops in prices of both. So for all the election year bashing of China in the US, in fact the US has never needed China so much as a source of cheap labour, a buyer of its dollars and bonds and a source of demand for US goods and services.

So the problem remains how does China combat an end to the bubble? The US faced this problem 4 years ago and solved it by dropping interest rates to historical lows, pumping liquidity, letting the dollar fall and allowing a rising property market (some would say new bubble) cushion the blow. None of that is available to China. The only solution is for them to revalue or perhaps even float their currency with potential to bring their banking system down instead. This a greater risk now given China's massive foreign exchange holdings which will be worth much less in local currency terms after a revaluation. Not to mention the large reserves transfered to the big banks in the past six months which was done in US dollars . Any revaluation reduces this new capital buffer, which hurts when you're carrying 50% of assets as bad loans already.

The end result. If you're having a sh!t day, just imagine how much worse it could be as a Chinese central banker of finance ministry official. At least you don't have 1.3 billion people depending on you to find an answer that doesn't exist.

UPDATE: There's a brief follow-up here.

Having finally got around to watching "Bowling for Columbine", Mike Moore's mess of a documentary about guns, fear and America, it is interesting to read the real reasons behind the Columbine shooting. Certainly it chips away at Moore's use of Columbine as a microcosm of all that ails modern America. Well worth taking the time to read the whole thing.

(via Instapundit)

Meantime if you're strapped for cash, it turns out that sometimes it's all OK to rob banks.

I will soon be off for the rest of the morning. I have the pleasure of spending three hours in Wan Chai in a small locked room. I will enter with nothing but the clothes I am wearing and I will be watched the whole time by closed circuit TV. I will not be allowed to leave until the deed is done. Yes, I have a training "module" to attend as part of an ongoing qualification thingy. One may ask what is the point of forcing people to do this things when they involve no study and you cannot fail them. One may ask why is it that this American based exam requires all those taking it outside of the USA to take two forms of ID, whereas inside the USA only one is required. But it is compounding the folly to expend so much mental energy on the task. It is something to be endured. It is just a shame to be able to take the time off work only to spend it so wastefully when it could be spent so wantonly.

A remarkable survey has found an astounding 28% of Hong Kongers still have confidence in the Hong Kong Government. When asked about the survey, innocent by-stander Mr CH Tung said, "I think the Government is doing a great job. It's good to see the civil servants obeyed that memo." His wife, Betty, agreed. "They are really doing a great job. And that Tung Che-hwa is kinda cute." 50% of people still retain confidence in the "one country, two systems" principle. The survey results omitted what the second system might be, but when asked survey chief Donald Tsang said "It's the Mainland system and that other one."

On another note, if those opposed to greater democracy in HK want a valid example of what can wrong they should stop looking at Taiwan and start looking at Indonesia. When one of the biggest parties can nominate a war criminal as Presidential candidate you know that something's not right. In the biggest Muslim nation you could have the man wanted by the UN running the place. That's scary.

For the past two days between one to three men have spent a total of 19 man-hours trying to fix what they first described as a "tiny leak". It all began innocently enough: the three turned up to check the air conditioner. This is normal in HK - you get the guy that runs the crew, the guy that does the work, and the other guy who doesn't seem to do anything. They "fixed" the air con. Except it wasn't cold. They came back and found the "problem". It was "fixed". That was 6pm last night. By 7pm a small drip started, directly outside our bedrooms. As Mrs M put it, our very own Chinese water torture chamber in the comfort of our own home. Mrs M has said how she misses the sound of rain on the roof. When I pointed out how this could substitute, she told me she didn't mean one drop at a time. Fair point.

One man turned up early this morning to fix it. Since then they have worked, with a break for lunch, the whole day. The other two joined him for the afternoon session. Mrs M's description of them was "One guy who's phone rings every minute, one guy looking very confused and angry, and the other guy..." So far they have completely removed a section of the roof. They finally got the leak fixed about half an hour ago. They now need to replace the roof, paint the water-stained ceiling and fix the water-logged floor.

Mrs M has invited them to stay for dinner. But they're not touching my beer, damnit.

Rob from Xset has an amusing task, replying to some brainless questions from a PR flak on blogging. The PR flak is trying to work out how he can use blogs to help his customers and his research is being helpfully aided by bloggers. Feel free to join in the fun: just link to Rob's post on the topic. My oh-so-witty answers are:

1. How do you typically source material/stories for your blog/site?

Typically I steal them. Otherwise I make them up. I try not to let too many facts get in the way as they tend to confuse me. And often they disagree with my opinions and we can't have that. At one stage I was going to outsource the whole thing to a call centre in India.

2. Have you any examples of a story that you have broken on your blog, being second sourced up other blogs or the mainstream media?

I broke both the Man landing on the Moon story and that it was a fake, and then that it wasn't a fake after all. All in an afternoon.

I also discovered who shot JFK and I gave Glenn Reynolds his start although the b@st@rd never thanked me.

3. Do you believe people use or will in the future use blogs as a news source over the traditional medium of newspapers, tv and radio? And have you any evidence to support this?

I believe the world will end in 27 days time and you need to send all your money and worldly possessions to me ASAP. Then trust my blog to report the world's demise to you. The "official" media won't report, but that's what they want you to believe. As for evidence, just keep watching the skies.

Anyway, you can't believe everything you read or see. (Courtesy of Single Planet).

4. What are your views of the commercial sector adopting blogs to communication with customers, and other target audiences?

If companies can find customers and others who want to read their blog, they wouldn't need PR firms. And the world would be a much better place.

Reader Lisa points out an article on US States tackling outsourcing. Essentially various states are responding to the outsourcing "threat" by prohibiting it. The article outlines both sides of the debate (Fox being fair and balanced - who would have thought?). On the protectionist side, it is about keeping middle class jobs protected from the Asian menace, because Asian labour can do the same jobs cheaper and these people went to college and the best thing to do when your job is threatened is ask the Government to help. Oh, and it is better to spend more Government money doing these jobs in America, because even though budgets are tight it is a far, far better thing to waste taxpayer money in America and on Americans.

On the other hand there's the facts. Believe it or not, outsourcing or offshoring has been happening for 300 years. In fact America itself was one of the first beneficiaries of the process. Nowadays it is helping many previously poor places like China and India overcome poverty, creating a wealthier and better world and even leading to demand for American goods.

Here's some more, all from the article: Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has criticized efforts to limit offshoring, saying they will reduce American living standards and not help American unemployment. Boosting math and science programs and technical skills of Americans is the key...

The Computer Systems Policy Project notes that while the Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts that the United States will have 165.3 million jobs by 2012, only 3.3 million of them, according to Forrester Research, will be outsourced. [that's right, only 2% of all jobs will be outsourced]

Despite the focus on jobs left, the Organization for International Investment this month released a list of the top 10 states that have been most successful in attracting "insourced" jobs — jobs supported by U.S. subsidiaries of companies headquartered abroad. So the process works both ways. Don't hear too much about that, do you?

The blogosphere's best on this is Daniel Drezner. He has an excellent article on outsourcing which is worth reading in full for a broader discussion of the issues. He has more here and throughout his site.

If I were an American taxpayer, and thankfully I'm not, I would be wondering how these Governors can get away with announcing an intention to waste money that could be better used for schools, cops, nurses, transport or one hundred other uses. It is rare when a politician tells you they intend to overspend. It's a pretty clear warning that something is amiss.

A couple are arrested for a trivial and subjective offence. Then they're asked for a bribe. They refuse and face court. The press get hold of the story, the officers are charged with corruption. Yet the couple still face the charges. Their crime? Kissing in public. This is a love story, Malaysian style.

I could, with a single strike, improve the lives of thousands of poverty striken farmers, boost the economies of some of the poorest parts of the world AND save Western taxpayers millions.

It is simple. Abolishing trade subsidy schemes such as the European CAP and the American farm trade schemes could accomplish a long-lasting improvement in the lives and incomes of literally thousands. Via The Economist I've come across a report by Oxfam on one small example, The Great EU Sugar Scam. There is a good summary by the BBC.

Forget about arguments on preserving the agricultural heritage of Europe (or America). The biggest winners are large corporations. In the case of sugar in Europe, Oxfam says Beghin Say benefits by EUR236mm, Sudzucker by EUR201mm and Tate & Lyle by EUR158mm. Europe spends half its budget on its Common Agricultural Policy. And the main winners are large companies, not small famers working small plots. The same is true in the US and the pork-laden Farm Act (pun intended), which is another form of corporate welfare.

I don't know when taxpayers in Europe and America are going to wake up to the massive waste and welfare their agri-businesses are able to drain from them. I don't know when these taxpayers are going to realise that these subsidies actually raise prices, keep poor people poor, prevent poor countries from exporting and distort trade. I don't know when taxpayers are going to realise they being ripped-off. But God I hope they wake up one day and stop falling for the protectionist clap-trap the cossetts these companies. It will make the world a better place, in more ways than one.

About one third of Hong Kong's boys in blue believe women make great punching bags when they're not their husband's sex slaves.

About one in every three policemen is a male chauvinist, believes a husband can discipline his wife whenever necessary and have sex whenever he wants it, a survey has found.

In cases of family disputes, he is more likely to side with the husband than the wife, according to the survey conducted by the Chinese University's department of psychology from 1998 to 2002.

"They (police) tend to underestimate the seriousness of family violence and are less likely to treat the cases as such...This means that the necessary intervention and follow-up work are often neglected."

Will it lead to more concrete steps to address the issue? I hope so, although I fear it may not. After all, you've got an entire society to change. But it has to start.

Australia's Government continues to defend the indefensible, refusing to extradite two wanted men to Hong Kong. I have mentioned this case before. The Australian Government refuses to discuss why it blocked the court approved extradiction of these two men, with the Minister now showing how he caved into political pressure from, amongst others, the two men's boss. Even worse, these guys are now working in the piling industry in Australia. The SCMP:

Two men wanted in Hong Kong on bribery and corruption charges over a short piling scandal are both back at work - and with the same Brisbane-based construction company - after Australia's justice minister refused to surrender them for trial...Among the 74 submissions on the newly released case file are those made by Russell Caporn, managing director of Piling Contractors (Qld) Pty Ltd, the current employer of both Voigt and Hendy.

The two men are wanted by the Independent Commission Against Corruption in connection with sub-standard foundations in a Tung Chung residential development in the late 1990s.

The ICAC probe into corruption within Hong Kong's building and construction industry offered a "shocking insight" into serious concerns about the safety of Hong Kong high-rises, according to court documents.

The inquiry revealed the "frightening" and "grave hazard that [the Tung Chung development] might collapse and cause loss of life and serious injury". The number of people placed at risk could run into the hundreds, it warned. It was also alleged the two engineers approved cash bribes and "sweeteners" including drinking sessions and sex tours to Macau to encourage site inspectors to turn a blind eye.

It is very hard to imagine the Australian public and politicians being so sanguine if the situation was reversed, and these men were in HK avoiding extradition.

The scene: secret Hamas HQ. The purpose: the election of a new leader.

* Introductory remarks made. Minute of silence for ex-leader Rantisi. Another minute of silence. Yet another minute. Much looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact.*
Mustafah: "I think Abul should do it."
Abul: "Ummm, no, I don't think I should. I really think Mustafah would do well as our new leader."
Rushd: "Yeah, Mustafah. You do it."
Mustafah: "No, I can't. I'm really busy. Not to mention I really actually love those Israelis. Some of my best friends are Jewish. Damn fine people. What about Aamir? He's always wanted the job."
Aamir: "Sure, vote for me. I'll jack up taxes as high as I can, and I'll declare a unilateral ceasefire and disarmament package. Oh, and renounce our goals."
Jamal: "Sarcasm doesn't translate well, Aamir."
Aamir: (making W sign with hands) "Whatever."
Abdul: "Look, we're not getting anywhere. We've gotta resolve this before they blow all of us up too. How about rock, siscors, paper? Best of 5?"
All: "Yeah, that's fair. Loser gets the job."
* They play. Mustafah loses. *
M: "How about we make it best out of 7? Anyone? Hello? Where did everyone go? What's that whistling sound?"

It's an example of a democracy in reverse. The organisation elects a new leader who has tried their hardest not to get the job. Actually, this being Hamas, you can imagine them all queuing to be next in line. That's the scary part.

UPDATE: Tim Blair shows that I was wrong. There's wasn't any voting, because there wasn't anybody left to vote.

Here's something to add to the "never to eat even if it's the last food on Earth" pile: Geoduck. A popular Chinese seafood, I vow it will never knowingly pass my lips. For a laugh look at the photo of the guy holding the phallus-like geoduck and wonder, "Why is he smiling?"

Sometimes I wonder if headline writers spend much of their time blogging. Often headlines are dashed off, ambiguous with double or unintended meanings. Much like blogs. For example, N. Korea's Kim in Beijing for Rare, Secretive Talks. Does this mean Mr. Kim will be sitting in silence for large amounts of time, and when he does eventually speak it is in a whisper? Perhaps a more accurate headline would be "Despot in China with hand out for more money as pay-off for blackmail". Not as snappy, but far more to the point.

Anyway here's how secret it is.

Kim's trip, cloaked in the secrecy that traditionally surrounds his rare overseas journeys, comes less than a week after Vice President Dick Cheney warned in Beijing that time was running out to resolve the crisis over Pyongyang's nuclear ambitions that has gripped North Asia since late 2002. His special train crossed into China late on Sunday and traveled overnight to Beijing, South Korea's YTN cable television news said.

In a sign of the secrecy Kim favors, a convoy of unmarked cars, including a black Mercedes stretch limousine, pulled out of Beijing's main railway station and onto the wide Chang'an Avenue heading west toward the state guest house where he has stayed on previous trips...Police earlier closed the city's congested main road that cuts through the heart of the capital and runs along the north side of Tiananmen Square. Beijing's main railway station was guarded by military police and a station official said it was closed for the arrival of a special visitor, whose identity he said was a secret.

At the walled Diaoyutai State Guest House compound, an employee said Kim was due in on Monday. (my emphasis)

Kim's entourage included 40 high-level ruling party, state and military officials in a trip aimed to shore up ties, KBS said. Kim, who avoids travel by plane, was also seeking economic aid.

Pardon, Mr. Kim? You're having a bad hair day again? Don't worry, it happens to everyone.

Hong Kong is a small place. Not just geographically. Today's news gives a perfect example of the inter-connectedness that passes for daily life here.

Firstly Bishop Zen, Hong Kong's answer to Cardinal Jamie Sin, has again taken umbrage with Tung Chee-hwa and pointed out the 9 conditions Tung laid out for democracy are actually "barriers". Fair (and true) enough. This is the same Bishop who presides over the Roman Catholic church here in Hong Kong, which finds itself likely to experience the HK legal system first hand again. Meanwhile Sir double-Barrelled ex-chief gouger secretary David Akers-Jones practices his puckering up, China style. His limited idea of democracy would work well in a less dangerous system, such as a plutocracy* or technocracy. No need to let the poor slobs of the lower orders to have a say. All this in the place where dometic violence is still considered (legally) common assault, rather than a seperate issue with very different causes and results. So issues that have an impact on people get lost in all the hubub over grand issues like democracy.

It's enough to drive you to drink. Or perhaps the other way around.

* _{for an example of where that could lead us, have a listen to Gordon "I want to make Wan Chai one great big hotel" Wu's thoughts. Only 7 years late, he warns us the Reds are coming.}

Today's theme seems to be outsourcing. It appears that China (Hong Kong division) cannot even haul ass itself. It's bloody North American labour taking our jobs. Where's Tung Che-Waa? Keep Hong Kong for Hong Kong. It's an outrage of the highest order. They're making asses out of us.

Even Santa is feeling the pinch and now even the elves have to go. There are rumours the elves's jobs are being outsourced because of cheaper Chinese labour and this year the reindeer will actually be Indian elephants instead. Santa had better be careful, because you don't want disgruntled employees ruining your brand.

The week just past saw the end of Passover, a time where Jews can only eat unleavened bread (with no yeast). This bread is called matza. To get an idea of what this is like, imagine an oversized cracker with all the taste sucked out of it and a dash of cardboard thrown in. It's a tough time, especially for those following the Atkins diet. Matza contains about 77% carbs.

It's never easy being Jewish.

Due to a senior boss sitting over my shoulder for the entire afternoon the regular weekend round-up is going to be a limited affair. That's OK though, because the number one spot was locked in early.

Pixy celebrated his first blogiversary. Since then he has become host extrodinaire, developing the world of Munu into the list you see on the sidebar, and extended so much help to so many bloggers (including myself) that if there were a Nobel prize for blogging he'd be a deserving winner.

Instead of links to specific posts, I've picked out a few blogs on the ol' roll for you to peruse at your liesure. After you've re-read some of the gold I've posted, of course (especially the Iron Chef - bring it back!).

Firstly, Bill and crew at Bloviating Inanities are always good for a laugh. Not to mention fellow clergy member Paul as well.
Shaky's back from holidays with his usual stories.
There's Alex and Bre, both new additions to the world of Munu.
Trey Givens is a new addition and he's running for President, so you need to visit to see what the future holds.
Lastly there's Mike Jericho, who's got an amazing setup for someone on Blogsplat.

Next week I hope to return to the more specific linking fest you've grown to love and admire.

JC co-incidently has the same middle name as a character Barbie plays in one of her movies. So JC refers to herself as Barbie.

This is mostly to distract you from the fact that this is a test.

North Korea announces a uniform overhaul.

The news is greeted with universal applause and a jangling of medals.

You're the nominal head of Government. The biggest political debate affecting the future of the entire political system is raging around you. There are daily press reports; street protests; stern words from your overlords as they take control. You've got to look like you're doing something. So you spend some time thinking about it, and come out with complete drivel.

After spending all this time, with at least theoretically some of the best minds working on it, you come up with only nine "factors" to consider, which I've paraphrased below (link here for those interested in the full thing):

1. Beijing matters most
2. This is serious, but Beijing matters most
3. The chief exec rules no matter what, unless Beijing says otherwise
4. Same as rule 3, just rewritten to look like a new one
5. Universal sufferage will come to Hong Kong, slowly (145 years is about right).
6. Public opinion matters. It just comes after the opinion of Beijing, the chief exec, the LegCo, the business cartel, the pets of the Beijing cadres, snakes, loyal members of the CCP and of course Beijing.
7. All changes have to make sure the business cartels still have a say.
8. Any changes must make sure Beijing is looked after first.
9. If changes hurt the economy, then they can't happen. If they hurt Beijing, they can't happen. If they hurt me, they can't happen. In fact, they can't happen.

If he really tried he could have come up with more.

What continues to amuse me is all of these reports, task-forces, committees and so on are trying to put a lid on the problem. But the genie is out of the bottle. As I've said before, when half a million people turn out again to march on July 1, all this paper and hot air will be worthless and Tung and Beijing will find themselves facing a bigger problem than ever. And with no way to contain it without resorting to one of two drastic measures: a) give in and allow some form of democracy or b) a show of force that would scare everyone into submission. Don't doubt option b) as a choice - a few arrests, lengthy jail terms, tear gas. Beijing, when faced with problems with no other solutions, aren't afraid to use force.

The real stupidity is they could allow some very limited form of democracy and contain the problem. People wouldn't be happy, but it would hold them for long enough. For example, give people a short list of three Chief Execs to choose from. Of course suddenly Beijing gives up some of it's leash, but it's a small price to pay compared to the alternatives.

Finally isn't it interesting that at the same time Donald Tsang's expensive task force submitted their second report on the same day? Actually not really, given it's more drivel. May as well shovel out as much of the stuff as you can all at once. What Tung needs now is another Harbour Fest so everyone can get worked up about that instead.

All beer, in particular Heineken, tastes far better from a tap than from a can, and tastes different again from a bottle. Why? Coke tastes the same no matter the container, as does water. What is it about beer?

One thing I will never understand is people who feel they have to brush their teeth constantly during the day. I'm a morning and night kind of kind guy. I can almost understand someone brushing after lunch too, although that borders on Obessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) territory. But I've witnessed many who need to brush every hour, on the hour, every day. It makes the bathroom at work look more like a dentistry than the den of filth & putrid smells it should be. I find it hard enough not to gag just walking into that bathroom. I couldn't think of a worse place to be brushing my teeth. WTF?

And while I'm at it, WTF with WTF? And all the other acronyms people use. Is it a way of showing off? Who makes them up? How do they become common knowledge? WTF???

After avoiding the problem for years China has finally seen the light and started offering free AIDS/HIV tests across the whole country. Ironically it is almost exactly a year since Richard's post on AIDS in China. AIDS is still little-discussed in China, even though there are expected to be 10 million HIV carriers by 2010. Ignorance is rife - recent surveys have shown that 20% of the population have never heard of the disease and 40% do not realise that condoms can help to minimise the risks.

Perhaps China is starting to heed the lessons of others before it is too late.

You can tell today's letter of the day is P. I recently recounted the horror Hong Kong's public servants face now their lavish benefits are coming under scrutiny. The pain is set to continue. From the SCMP:

Colonial-era civil service perks estimated to cost taxpayers $96 million a year are to be scrapped or substantially tightened as part of an overhaul to curb government spending...[The Civil Service Bureau] recommended that at least eight items of spending, including the leave passage allowance, air-conditioning, furniture, hotel and baggage subsidies, be scrapped or tightened...

At present, senior directorate officers are entitled to $43,720 as holiday allowance each year. They can also claim the same amount each for up to five family members. The bill for the past financial year exceeded $66 million. With allowances for baggage, hotels, furniture and moving house, such spending cost $90.8 million in total in 2003-04.

Meanwhile, today presents two more signs of the end of the China bubble.

Firstly the SCMP:

China Construction Bank (CCB), the mainland's top property lender, is likely to delay its initial public offering to next year or later as top government officials and economists have expressed serious doubts about the bank's readiness...But there have been growing indications that CCB's rush to list has caused considerable worries among the top leadership in Beijing and leading government economists...Premier Wen Jiabao has expressed doubts about the capabilities of CCB's management and is believed to be undecided on the bank's listing schedule.

Finally some economic comedy. Yes, it does exist. China's inflation rate is 2.8%. Even though the economy's growing at 9.7% and retail sales at 9.2% with fixed investment up 43%. Cash is flooding in. In plain language, it simply means there will either be an explosion in inflation (prices go up when people are buying that much more every year and companies are investing that much more in machinery and making that much more every year) or an implosion in the Chinese economy. Either way it isn't going to be pretty. Now you can see what the central Government is so worried about this. So should the USA - China's been funding their debt binge and propping up the US dollar (along with Japan) for years.

I was happy to leave things alone after my innocent observation about Frank J, despite his declaration of war. You know, being a man of the cloth now, I need to turn the other cheek and so on. But then he just goes ahead and proves my case with his newest episode of The Limey. I dare you to read it and crack a smile, let alone laugh. If you're like me your eyes probably glazed over after the first few lines and you now want to know how you're going to get that 10 minutes of your life back.

Methinks that Frank actually likes someone standing up to him. All this fawning must be getting to him, up there in his Neverland castle. And he still hasn't thanked me for all the traffic I sent his way. Ungrateful b@st@rd. Insulting clergy will have him on a fast track to hell, or the Democrat convention. Much the same thing, really.

_{Before his monkey brained fans start pouring more scorn upon me, please try and get a life first. Frank can be funny. I've had two links from him in a week. What's all your sycophantic crawling done for you? And my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek here, people. At least Frank gets that.}

I'm not in the habit of carrying my squash racquet and kit bag to work just for the sake of it. So the answer to "Are you playing squash?", my fellow bus traveller, is quite obvious. Unless you think I'm trying a new technique for this instead.

In far better news, Mrs M and I took my folks to one of Hong Kong's finest eating establishments last night: Lucy's. The food has always been good, the service the same and the place itself comfortable. It may not be the flashest or hippest eatery in Hong Kong but that's part of what makes it great.

Highly recommended and it rates 4 miters out of 5.

The current ordination craze that is sweeping the blogosphere has been lacking one thing: a place of worship. Problem solved.

UPDATE: my ordination just came through. You've really got to read it in the extended entry. And don't mess with me, I'm clergy now.

By the way, this is pretty funny, given I'm Jewish. Still I keep getting told that multi-skilling is the way to go these days.
************************************************************

This is to confirm that

SIMON MUNU
CENTRAL
HONG KONG HK 00000 Hong Kong

has been ordained as a minister of the
Universal Life Church, Modesto, California.

Date of Ordination: 4/13/2004

by Kevin Andrews, Pastor
www.ulc.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your request for ordination has been processed, and you are now an ordained
minister of the Universal Life Church in Modesto, California! Please record
the above date of ordination for your records, as you may need this information
in the future to fill out the various forms of the clergy. If you were
ordained previously, the above date will constitute a valid date upon which you
were RE-ordained. Ordination is for life, without price, and without question
of your specific beliefs. You do NOT need to pay any tithe, donation, or
offering of any kind, now or in the future.

Ordinations are individually reviewed and forwarded to Universal Life Church
International Headquarters in Modesto, California, where it will be recorded in
the permanent church records.

As a minister, you are authorized by the church to perform the rites and
ceremonies of the church (except circumcision), including weddings, funerals,
baptisms and blessings, subject to the laws of your country, state, or
locality. Prior to conducting any civil ceremony (such as marriages), you
should know and comply with the laws pertaining to your area of jurisdiction.

You are entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to members
of the clergy.

Your commitment is to always do the right thing. It is your responsibility to
peacefully and sincerely determine the right course of action, and to avoid
infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for your
actions as a minister.

...

It is not a piece of paper which makes you a minister. However, many people
wish to have a certificate, wallet card, or other record of their status as a
minister. Such items are particularly useful to those who wish to perform
marriages. It can serve to reassure the bride and groom (or their parents!) of
the legality of the marriage.

Many ministers like to provide the couple with an authentic Universal Life
Church Marriage Certificate for them to include among their wedding keepsakes. Others just want to have a professionally printed certificate as a permanent record of their ordination. With this in mind, we offer an assortment of Clergy Packages to help you get started quickly and easily in your ministry.
These packages contain various documents, literature, and helps for various
situations...Please understand however, that you are not required or
expected to purchase anything, and these items are not necessary for you to
have an effective and meaningful ministry.

Best wishes in your ministry!

With warm regards,

Kevin Andrews, Senior Pastor
Universal Life Church Online
www.ulc.net

Here's a shock. Legitimate winner Craig Stevens is expected to bow to pressure and give up his 400 metre Olympic swimming spot to Ian Thorpe.

It is believed media organisations are competing for an exclusive announcement from Stevens.

This week's Economist has an article how science is trying to prevent a certain species of butterfly from mating and destroying various foodstuffs. Here's an excerpt:

The caterpillar of Pieris rapae is, as its name suggests, even more rapacious. In North America it is known as the imported cabbage worm, since it was accidentally introduced there from Europe in the mid-1800s. Nowadays, it damages crops of cabbages, Brussels sprouts, cauliflowers, broccoli and turnips all around the world.

Help stop this crazy plot. Restore the balance to nature. Stop Brussel sprouts before they do more damage.

Is it just me or is George W. Bush having more bad hair days recently? Sure he's got a lot on his mind, but a few minutes personal grooming isn't going to hurt, is it?

If you only watch one TV show this year, then you've got to get yourself a better TV set. And once you do, you've absolutely got to watch Japan's gift to the world of TV: The Iron Chef. There is absolutely no better show on TV. I've not found it here in HK, but once my father-in-law and I stumbled across it one Saturday evening while waiting for the footy, I've been hooked. It's a combination of gladiator and gastronome, of challenge and cooking, of man and maitre d'. I've never been a fan of cooking shows - Jamie Oliver makes me sick, Nigella Lawson licking her fingers is just unhygienic and the Two Fat Ladies were lucky to live as long as they did with so much cream and butter in everything. But this show is different. Watch it for the cooking and enjoy the commentary, the bad dubbing, the oh-so-Japanese challenges (e.g. "Chef Mizumo has spent 8 months alone in a monastery preparing for this challenge").

However like all the good shows (Simpsons aside) it's no longer in production. I demand they bring it back. The world needs more shows like this.

Here's some free advice for the owner of Mix sandwich cafe in IFC: having a member of the kitchen staff louding hocking their guts up is not conducive to good lunchtime trade.

I would like to categorically state, for the record, that at no time has David Beckham ever made a pass at me, nor sent me text messages involving an inordinate number of asterisks.

For quite some time The Economist has used the Big Mac Index. This is a tool for estimating how over or under-valued exchange rates are between countries. It works on the assumption that Big Macs are the same in every country, so they should cost the same. This theory (known as purchasing power parity) is thought to be a long-term indicator of value. So for example, if a Big Mac costs US$2.00 in the USA and HK$14 here in Hong Kong, then according to the theory the HK/US exchange rate should be US$1=HK$7. But in fact US$1 buys HK$7.80 on the foreign excahnge market so the HK$ is undervalued by 11.4%.

There are some big problems with this model. One of the biggest is it doesn't account for one of the biggest parts of the economy: the services sector. So I got to thinking. What is a service that is the same everywhere in the world? What service's rates will be directly comparable, where the quality of the service is the same in each country? The answer's obvious.

So I hereby propose a new Global Prositution Index (GPI). A set of highly trained technicians will volunteer to collate the cost of a prostitute's services in every country in the world. We will collect and compare the results and publish this sure-fire method of finding which currencies are over or under-valued. Or at worst which countries are cheapest for a blow-job.

Of course quality control will be an issue. That's why I'm looking for volunteers. Anyone?

The current hostage-taking game in Iraq is clearly not simply about getting America out of Iraq. If it were the merry-go-round kidnappings and releases wouldn't be occurring. Especially when they are now kidnapping nationals of countries that were (and are) opposed to America's position in Iraq such as China and Russia. It smacks of opportunism in the bedlam now occurring in some parts of Iraq. It is clearly un-cordinated and seems more based on a "steal now, work out who we've got later" policy. If there is a better way to draw opprobrium for these "uprisers", I don't know what it is.

China has finally settled on their latest tactic in the containment of Hong Kong: patronising paternalism:

The 20,000-strong protest march through Hong Kong at the weekend was disrespectful to Beijing, a mainland figure has claimed. Xu Chongde, one of the Basic Law drafters, said yesterday the march had soured relations between Beijing and Hong Kong after the goodwill visit by three mainland advisers last week.

"High-ranking Beijing officials had come to Hong Kong to have a dialogue with everybody, but thousands of people still took to the streets,'' he said. "Now you don't respect the central government, and refuse to take the words of the old man"...``I hope that Hong Kong people will not to be swayed by their momentary impulse ... the river water needn't interfere with the well water,'' he said.

Anyway China's got bigger problems at the moment. For a "centrally planned" economy they're having a hell of a time containing the current economic bubble. Overly easy credit, over-investment outstripping demand, glowing press, bomming stock and property markets. It all looks awfully similar to the USA around 1999. At least the USA had some tools to deal with the problem. China's going to soon have a new national sport: white elephant hunting. It will take everyone's mind off the deflation they're going to be dealing with.

This will be today's only post. There are three reasons why:
1. I have a cold and feel like cr@p.
2. It's a public holiday and far too nice a day to waste in front of a computer.
3. This site is soon to undergo a major change, which is taking up next to none of my time but plenty of someone else's.

In the meantime it's always good to know my fellow Australians think well of me. I'm touched.

Well Frank unleashes his monkeys of war, and instead finds the hamsters of Munu ready and willing. With my trusty and (hopefully) loyal co-Munuvians, Frank's going to find he's messed with the wrong guy this time. It must be especially galling that the comments are all funnier than him, too.

If Frank's so big on Nuking the Moon, I hearby propose we send him there first.

PS: Frank - any time you want to stop the madness, I can be bought off.

One last thing before the long weekend: sometimes it's best to know when to shut up.

From Reuters (no link yet):

HONG KONG, April 8 (Reuters) - Beijing said on Thursday it would not shy away from tinkering yet again with Hong Kong's constitution, defying the widespread outrage it sparked this week after it revised electoral laws in the city.

"We have this power (to interpret Hong Kong's Basic Law constitution)...that's why we can't promise never to interpret the Basic Law in the future," Qiao Xiaoyang, a senior member of China's parliament, told a public forum in Hong Kong.

"If the National People's Congress (China's parliament) interpets the law again, we hope you'll all take it easy."

Qiao heads a team of Chinese officials visiting Hong Kong to try to placate the territory after the Chinese parliament revised clauses in the Basic Law giving Beijing full control over how and when the city can choose its leaders and lawmakers.

While the move is legal, it has provoked an outcry from legal circles, rights groups and ordinary people, who say it erodes the high degree of autonomy China promised Hong Kong when it resumed control of the British colony in 1997.

Angry with the local Beijing-backed government, many Hong Kong people have been agitating for full direct elections from as soon as 2007, a possibility allowed under the Basic Law. But the review means this prospect is more remote than ever.

Beijing, which already has the power to veto any political reform, now has the added power to decide if changes are even needed, meaning it can delay any change for as long as it likes.

China's worries are simple. It fears full democracy would yield a leader in the city who challenges the authority of the central leaderhip. The communist government also fears full democracy in Hong Kong could spread to the mainland, undermining its ability to govern the world's most populous nation.

It is also afraid that democratic aspirations would fester and grow into demands for independence for Hong Kong, giving Beijing the same sort of headache it faces in Taiwan.

Can you hear it? Yes, the sound of a rapidly approaching long weekend. If you expect no posting here for the next four days you will find your expectations well-met. There's plenty of goodies to look at both here, in "My Best" list, my archives and of course in the weekly round-up.

Before I start, a little aside. What's with the slavish worship of Frank J? At times he's funny, yes, but so are plenty of other sites. I've never found myself rolling around the floor with tears coming down my face after reading his site. Sometimes I crack a smile or two, but that's about it. Two fan sites, including one here at Munu, seems over-the-top. I have a feeling I'm not alone here, either. Feel free to convince me I'm wrong or agree that I'm right. The latter is preferred.

This week Ilyka takes the prize after discovering the golden rule of blogging - it makes no sense.

Jim has two great challenges: firstly a petition for moderate Muslims to sign (with so far zero signatures) and a "find the lie" campaign (read the comments too).
Pixy also gets a double-whammy. He neatly sums up how to argue and gives the blogging world a faster MT builder. He is truly gifted.
As always Andres has interesting thoughts on this week's events in Hong Kong and the NPC and mentions Hans Blix is getting sillier.
Blackfive looks at the 10th anniversary of the Rwanada genocide.
Adam tells the story of a kid who made and lost a fortune in a day.
Finally Giles is leading a one-man campaign to bring back Harbour-Fest. And no, it's not Mike Rowse in disguise.

This week marked the centenary of the entente cordiale (this from a magazine that stole my headline), a celebration of one hundred years of a joint British-French effort to make concerntrated fruit juice that can send kids' sugar levels to astronomical heights in seconds. Congrats to both countries. As I understand it the other two main joint achievements the UK and the French have accomplished in the past 100 years have been the Channel Tunnel and the Concorde. One's bust and the other is no longer flying.

Good track record that.

I know of one town that will be happy this Easter weekend brings the end of Lent.

Easter's great for two things: a four day weekend, and hot-cross buns. Hot. Cross. Buns.

I'm all for love and forgiveness in marriage. But sometimes you've just gotta say, "Honey, I can't forgive you for trying that."

Maybe his are, but mine aren't.*

* _{we're aiming to beat the 21 comments and counting on his post, people.}

I cannot vouch for the authenticity of this but it's darn funny regardless. A story of one man's battle against the police, a parking ticket and common sense. Download Traffic Fines (PDF file).

As if any further proof were needed that dieting is bad for you.

Motorists have been warned from taking to the wheel while on a radical diet because body reaction times are significantly reduced, according to the Austrian automobile association (OeAMTC). Significantly lower calorie levels cause headaches, eyesight problems and dizziness and in serious cases even a circulatory collapse, the association says. Motorists were warned to especially watch their blood sugar levels when undergoing a zero diet because body reaction times were significantly slower.

There has been a predictable uproar in response to the NPC decision on HK and the Basic Law. For the curious the interpretations are reproduced in full here. The crux remains the same: Beijing has the final word on these matters. In fact the chorus of complaint is wasted: Beijing has won this round of the battle. Their hand was forced by the incompetence of Chief Exec Tung Chee-hwa and the 500,000 person march last July. Indeed there was no other possible response open to the Communists, so the outrage and bellowing in response is just going through the motions. And it misses a key point.

NOTE: Now updated at the end of the extended entry

In some respects Beijing is right. They are the sovereign power that controls Hong Kong. Regionalism is a growing issue in many countries but in almost all countries regions still give way to the central Government. It is intrinsic in the definition of a country. In this case Beijing are asserting their rights as the sovereign power to control the political outcomes of one of its regions. Central governments do this all the time - for example Indian history is littered with examples of the central government throwing out various state governments. Going further, even though it is a farce the Beijing Government is going through the correct motions in imposing its interpretation of the Basic Law. It is using its (admittedly rubber stamp) parliament to impose its views on a region. The Basic Law recognises China as the sovereign power. So what's the problem?

Well, there's several. That same Basic Law states in the preamble:

In accordance with the Constitution of the People's Republic of China, the National People's Congress hereby enacts the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China, prescribing the systems to be practised in the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, in order to ensure the implementation of the basic policies of the People's Republic of China regarding Hong Kong.

The National People's Congress authorizes the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region to exercise a high degree of autonomy and enjoy executive, legislative and independent judicial power, including that of final adjudication, in accordance with the provisions of this Law.

In accordance with Article 31 of the Constitution of the People's Republic of China, the systems and policies practised in the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, including the social and economic systems, the system for safeguarding the fundamental rights and freedoms of its residents, the executive, legislative and judicial systems, and the relevant policies, shall be based on the provisions of this Law.

The Chief Executive of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region shall be selected by election or through consultations held locally and be appointed by the Central People's Government...The method for selecting the Chief Executive shall be specified in the light of the actual situation in the Hong Kong Special Administration Region and in accordance with the principle of gradual and orderly progress. The ultimate aim is the selection of the Chief Executive by universal suffrage upon nomination by a broadly representative nominating committee in accordance with democratic procedure."

The Hong Kong Basic Law has explicit stipulations on the principle of development of democracy and provides for the ultimate goal of selecting the Chief Executive and members of the Legislative Council through universal suffrage. Since Hong Kong's return to the motherland, positive and steady progress has been made in its democratic system. The people of Hong Kong have become masters of their own destiny and are enjoying broad democratic rights that they had never been entitled to before the return. Democracy in Hong Kong will be further developed and improved in practice in accordance with the Hong Kong Basic Law.

However Beijing face a real problem. This whole process was kicked off in answer to the 500,000 person march last July. They saw this as a definitive answer, a way of closing down the debate and hopes for democracy in Hong Kong, at least for the time being. They dismissed the march as a response to the poor economic climate. They dismissed it as a walk for people on a public holiday. What is no doubt busy exercising minds in both Beijing and Hong Kong is what can they do if another 500,000 people march this year. The economy's picked up. Clearly people aren't out for a walk. The pressure on Tung Chee-hwa will be stronger than ever to step down - which he can't because it would be seen giving in to public pressure. Despite Hong Kong, at least in theory, heading on the road to democracy. And the CCP in Beijing will be in a real bind. Because how do you contain something once your solution has failed? The problem for them is they cannot and this response to last year will only make people more determined, not less.

And then Beijing will have a real problem on their hands.

UPDATE: As usual Andres has more astute observations on the subject. One point he makes is the intrinsic contradictions that exist within the Basic Law. The Basic Law is the result of two different parties with two very different agendas compromising against an imposing deadline. The British were desperate to leave a lasting legacy to HK in the form of democracy (ironic a colonial ruler got the democracy bug so late; especially when they also left the place in an immeasurably better condition than they found it, with a nice dowry to boot); the Chinese were desperate to get their hands on the place with their usual command and control strucutre, albeit with a capitalist system intact to keep the golden goose laying the eggs. The deadline was 1997 handover, and the Basic Law needed to be decided. Both sides needed to "win", but the reality was the British had little to negotiate with but needed a fig leaf to cover themselves and leave as a "good" coloniser. Thus the Basic Law contains ambiguities, contradictions and distortions. It leaves enough room for the CCP to drive a tank through. And that's just what they're doing.

Any time you board a plane, you are guaranteed two things. Firstly, the cabin crew will go through the safety procedures while everyone does there best to ignore them. Secondly, the cabin crew will repeat several times to turn off all mobile phones and electronic devices as they interfere with the aircraft navigational equipment.

At which point you bring out this from The Economist:

CONTRARY to popular belief, mobile phones do not pose a safety threat to airliners. On an average transatlantic flight, several phones are usually left switched on by accident, and the avionics systems on modern aircraft are hardened against radio interference. No, the use of phones on planes is banned because they disrupt mobile networks on the ground. An airliner with 500 phones on board, whizzing across a city, can befuddle a mobile network as the phones busily hop from one base-station to the next.

Why do cable TV networks go to all that trouble of employing presentable, good-looking and well-spoken anchors, only to have them constantly interviewing ugly mumblers who spout crap?

The IT help desk at my workplace are amazing. They have identified key times when people might need them and made a policy of not being available at those times. So where most people start here at 8am, the help desk only opens at 9am. By then there is an hour's worth of lost passwords, systems crashes and viruses to get sorted. Then there is the two hour lunchtime that the help desk takes as a matter of course despite the rest of the firm coping without it. And while most workdays tend to drag on past 6pm, the help desk closes at 5pm sharp, except days they close at 4:30pm. Not to mention the standard answers to all IT problems they give you:
1. Try what you've already done.
2. Reboot after you've already rebooted.
3. Turn, shrug and walk away to answer the next query.

Yes I'm jealous. To be so bad at your job for the few minutes a day you actually work and getting paid at the same time is no mean feat.

The decision has been made; the nobbling has been done. China's NPC (Parliament) has made it's decision on the Basic Law. From Reuters (no link yet):

China's parliament ruled on Tuesday that it has the power to decide if Hong Kong needs electoral reforms, dashing hopes that the former British colony will get full democracy soon, a parliament delegate said.

While Hong Kong can change its election laws from 2007, Beijing said its approval must be obtained first, giving China full control over the city's political reforms, parliament Standing Committee member Tsang Hin-chi told reporters.

China's parliament interpreted two clauses in Hong Kong's constitution as meaning that Beijing has the authority to decide if political changes are needed and can veto anything it does not want.

UPDATE: there's an expanded article with predictable reaction from the usual suspects. The best bit is this from Martin Lee:no freedom is safe because every clause in the Basic Law is subject to interpretation by the Standing Committee without notice. Where was he during the right-of-abode debacle?

MORE: It seems Time magazine has an article to explain who's in charge and HK's political situation. Seems like a good overview, although that photo looks suspiciously like it was taken at the Leslie Cheung vigil the other night.

China's parliament ruled on Tuesday that it has the power to decide if Hong Kong needs electoral reforms, dealing a sharp blow to aspirations for democracy in the former British colony. The Standing Committee of the National People's Congress passed an interpretation of Hong Kong's "Basic Law" giving Beijing full control over the territory's political reform, a parliament member told reporters. The move has drawn fire for setting a precedent that some say undermines the rule of law, but Hong Kong parliament member Tsang Hin-chi said the ruling should not cause alarm. "It is very mild and very clear," he said. "People should not blindly oppose it but put the best interests of Hong Kong people first." Hong Kong returned to China in 1997 with the promise of wide-ranging autonomy. While it can change its election laws from 2007, Beijing said its approval must be obtained first. Tsang is the only Hong Kong delegate on the leading Standing Committee of the National People's Congress who had the right to vote on the interpretation. The leaders of China's parliament interpreted two clauses in Hong Kong's constitution as meaning that Beijing has the authority to decide if political changes are needed and can veto anything it does not want. "Beijing is assuming total control over political change in Hong Kong," said Hong Kong political commentator Andy Ho. "It is trying to cool aspirations for democracy here, telling Hong Kong that it has control, but instead of doing that it is heating things up." Hong Kong's leading pro-democracy lawmaker, Martin Lee, said the interpretation set a precedent that undermined the rule of law in the territory. "If they can do it now, they are saying 'we will do it as we please in the future'," he told the Standard newspaper in Hong Kong. "If that is so, then no freedom is safe because every clause in the Basic Law is subject to interpretation by the Standing Committee without notice." China, alarmed by growing demands for democracy in Hong Kong after massive protests last year, says the interpretation is needed to end disputes and confusion in the territory and ensure its long-term stability and prosperity.

The world is busy looking at Iraq. In the meantime, there's plenty of scary stuff happening right here in Asia, courtesy of your friendly despotic republic of North Korea. The head of KEDO has told how the North Koreans can make as many nukes as they like.Comforting stuff. It seems this member of the Axis of Evil has been put in the containment basket until the USA and the rest of the world, including China, can work out what the hell to do with them.

North Korea can probably make unlimited quantities of nuclear weapons from its own plutonium stocks, the head of a consortium that until recently was building nuclear power stations there said Monday. "I feel very confident that their plutonium program is now in full operation and it's one that can produce almost unlimited quantities of nuclear weapons," Charles Kartman, executive director of the Korean Peninsula Energy Development Organization (KEDO) told the European parliament.

Pamplona, scene of the famous running of the bulls, where fool-hardy young men prove their bravery by running to avoid a hulking mass of bull. But now they have some competition.

There is an effort to link the Wikipedia post for Jew and replace the current anti-semitic top listing in Google. Join in and pass it on - after all, it's Passover. It's the least you could do.

(Found via Andres)

It's that time of year again for this Jewish family. The annual event, so keenly awaited, begins tonight. It will bring with it a mix of joy and happiness, combined with a tinge of sadness. It celebrates our release from our captors, our subsequent wonderings and our arrival in the promised land. It is a time for reflection and looking ahead. There will be much feasting; the kids are excited; the appropriate preparations have been made.

No, not Passover (which is also tonight). My parents are coming to town.

If there's only two links you follow today, you should make them these:
1. Jim has a great plan for Muslims against terrorism to show their colours.
2. Jim's on a roll, because he has a "Find the Lie" Challenge for all those anti-Bush muck-rakers. So far no-one's come close.

In the interests of avoiding work I'm going to engage in one of those "live blogging" experiments. This is where a blogger brings you updates in real time on some important event, so you can watch it and get commentary on it at the same time. Sure it's the same as what radio has been doing for a hundred years, but this is the internet revolution, so get with it.

Today's live blogging experience is the next twenty minutes at work:

9:29am - login and start live blogging post
9:30am - phone rings. Not mine, so I ignore it.
9:33am - emails from people who don't really need responses but still label it "Urgent".
9:36am - my net surfing is interupted by a co-worker's arrival.
9:37am - weekend activities are discussed, return to looking busy by typing this entry.
9:41am - went to the water fountain and got some water. Returned to my desk.
9:42am - ignored the phone, mostly because it wasn't ringing.
9:44am - still nothing going on. But I'm opposed to it, regardless. I'll bet Bush had something to do with it.
9:47am - two minutes to go. Something threatens to happen, but doesn't.
9:49am - time's up. All this typing has made me hungry. What's for lunch?

Isn't live blogging great? Stay tuned for the next one where I live blog my sleep.

The usual barrage of shoulders and umbrellas is absent this morning from the streets of Hong Kong. The only hazard I face as I walk to work is the scurrying helpers clambouring for prestigious spots to lay out cardboard, where they will spend the day playing cards and boiling rice. The Ching Ming festival strikes. No grave will be left unswept on this day.

But there's something more. Is it the fear that Singapore's mass exodus might be repeated here? Is the place recovering from celebrating the HK Film Awards, the Chinese world's equivalent of the Oscars? Is it anxiety at what the NPC may decide what the Basic Law actually means, even though it is perfectly clear to most? Are students trembling at the thought of more "patriotism" being introduced into HK schools, including regular flag-raising ceremonies (according to the SCMP) and self-examination sessions (according to the Little Red Book)?

No. It is the collective sigh of relief as one of the most dangerous and damaging disputes in Hong Kong history has finally been resolved. Finally the two SARs, Macau and Hong Kong, can bet on each other's horse races. A public holiday is declared to celebrate the day. People will celebrate in the way they know best: by gambling what little they have. It is a great day in Hong Kong history.

It's time for the end of week round up of what's worth your precious time over the weekend. To increase the prestige of this I am going to single out a single post of the week that managed to stick in my mind for longer than the time it took to read it. This post will be granted pride of place over each weekend at top of this under-appreciated corner of the web. Bribery is gleefully accepted and there's a whole Amazon wishlist to choose from.

Finally stay tuned for Monday where I will attempt a live blogging experience like no other.

Without further ado, this week's winner of best post is this effort from Bill where he manages to link to me, agree with me and add me to his blogroll. He's set a high standard for you all to aspire to.

As for what else is worth your while around the blogosphere:

John at Sinosplice came up with a positive response to China's blocking of Typepad: Adopt a Blog. It's times like this I wish I understood all this HTML stuff.
Conrad discovers a good use of US taxpayers money.
Paul continues to prove that blogging is just an experiment in one million monkeys following the formula.
Hemlock remains in great form.
The Great Munuvian Invitational continues apace - just look at the rapidly expanding Munu roll. The lines are still open...and I'm proud to say I brought Alex over from the dark side. Just need to get Country Store over now.
For those interested in the Richard Clarke book but cannot be bothered reading it, Tim Dunlop provides a chapter by chapter look at it. Agree or disagree, there's some food for thought in there.
Happy birthday Helen, and Jim's got the cake.
Finally, I want trickle too, please.

I don't like being busy at work, especially when all the stupid people decide it's great to ruin Friday by asking all their dumb-arse questions at once. It deprives the world of my insight and wit for hours at a time. Please try and cope as best you can.

What a day of contrasts yesterday was in Hong Kong. From the SCMP:

Police were keeping protesters at bay outside the Central Government Offices early today after about 300 people broke through a police barrier and tried to storm the government complex. The protesters were trying to get through the gate in Lower Albert Road to support about 30 others, mostly from the Federation of Student Unions, who had successfully entered the complex earlier to protest against the forthcoming interpretation of the Basic Law by the National People's Congress Standing Committee.

As the rain came down in Central last night, it provided a fitting backdrop to scenes of mourning by fans of Canto-pop star Leslie Cheung Kwok-wing. Thousands of devotees from across Asia flocked to candlelight ceremonies to mark the first anniversary of the death of the star, who jumped to his death from the Mandarin Oriental Hotel.

Literally Australia's spies will no longer take any sh!t.

Australia's main spy agency will screen users of ammonium nitrate fertiliser...Miners use about 850,000 tonnes of the fertiliser annually to make explosives, while farmers use 50,000 tonnes for crops. Under the plan, the Australian Security and Intelligence Organisation would screen such users to monitor the use of the chemical.

The plan would require buyers of ammonium nitrate to show a genuine and legitimate need for the fertiliser and the ability to safely and securely store and handle it. "There will also be an investigation into the viability and cost of alternative fertilisers with a view to an eventual ban of ammonium nitrate if that is possible," Ruddock said.

It's good to know Australia's spies are going to be carefully monitoring almost 1 million tonnes of cr@p instead of keeping an eye on the various loonies who could actually use the stuff for nefarious purposes. It's like my football coach used to say: "Play the man, not the ball." I still have no idea what that means.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some fertiliser to watch.

There is a simple reason that Formula One racing is losing fans at a rapid clip, and it has nothing to do with Ferrari and Schumacher. Indeed Schumacher's dominance is one of the highlights of the sport. In years to come you can tell your kids you saw the greatest driver of the modern era ply his trade. No, Formula One is losing fans because it is, more than usual, giving into the crass commercial interests that have always lurked in the background. It is not a cheap sport and has always been more about advertising than winning, but at least for a while it retained a good claim to being a true sport. It sold itself as being about fast cars, scantily clad women, champagne and the high life.

Not any more. In one of those hair-brained pieces of logic Formula One is selling out, again:

Drivers have been banned from spraying champagne during the traditional podium celebration at Sunday's inaugural Bahrain Grand Prix...Bowing to local sensibilities, the girls will dress modestly, and race organizers have created a special non-alcoholic drink for the podium celebrations which mixes locally grown fruit with rosewater.

King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa has gone to huge lengths to host the Grand Prix. Bahrain built a world-class racing circuit in 483 days. The king even offered to put up Schumacher in a royal palace. Yet the official drive to stage big sporting events, win foreign investment and turn Bahrain into the Gulf's banking centre is running up against a rising Islamist tide across the kingdom.

A fortnight ago, 100 men armed with knives burst into a restaurant in the capital, Manama, and threatened diners who were drinking alcohol. The twisted wreckage of a customer's car, petrol-bombed by the gang, still sits outside the restaurant, which is closed and guarded by police armed with tear-gas grenades.

Adam rightly comments on Six Apart's response to the blocking of Typepad by China. The Six Apart response is hedged and pleads ignorance, which is probably the right response for them, although it seems obvious to most China bloggers that this is a permanent block ala Blogspot. To be fair they seem to be trying to get to the bottom of it, although I can't see the Chinese Embassy in Washington promptly responding to Six Apart's queries. Adam's theory that they should rely on reports from bloggers themselves is telling but Six Apart really don't (yet) understand what they are dealing with. It is outside their usual frame of reference.

Besides it is mostly irrelevant. Already the China blogging community is coming up with its own solutions to the problem. John has started with the new adopt a blog idea. I've already offered Munu's services as part of the great invitational. Please help spread the word.

April Fools Day is stupid. People got to extreme lengths to play practical jokes on one another, trying things they would normally never get away with. You know, things like this:

Joker: "John, just got a call your father died." John looks shocked.
Joker: "April fools."
John: "That's a really stupid one, Dad."

It's a vain attempt by normally un-funny people to prove how funny they are. If someone's a good practical joker, they don't need to wait for a single day of the year to pull off their stunts. It's all about building credibility and trust and then abusing it by spinning complete bullcrap at random moments. Just look at these guys. Like the time we were in the hospital carpark and I told Mrs M about the special non-slip concrete they were using now as we squeaked and squealled around the place. Her inquisitive "Really?" was worth it, even though she was in labour.

Make every day an April Fools Day. The world will laugh or you'll be bashing into submission when your jokes wear thin, but either way the world is a better place for it. And this has nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't think of anything good this year.

My home town of Sydney is planning to introduce "driving licences" for dim sum* restaurants. Although road drivers in Hong Kong are abysmal, the dim sum kart drivers are world class.

*_{Note the date the regulations are due to begin.}