The scene: secret Hamas HQ. The purpose: the election of a new leader.

* Introductory remarks made. Minute of silence for ex-leader Rantisi. Another minute of silence. Yet another minute. Much looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact.*
Mustafah: "I think Abul should do it."
Abul: "Ummm, no, I don't think I should. I really think Mustafah would do well as our new leader."
Rushd: "Yeah, Mustafah. You do it."
Mustafah: "No, I can't. I'm really busy. Not to mention I really actually love those Israelis. Some of my best friends are Jewish. Damn fine people. What about Aamir? He's always wanted the job."
Aamir: "Sure, vote for me. I'll jack up taxes as high as I can, and I'll declare a unilateral ceasefire and disarmament package. Oh, and renounce our goals."
Jamal: "Sarcasm doesn't translate well, Aamir."
Aamir: (making W sign with hands) "Whatever."
Abdul: "Look, we're not getting anywhere. We've gotta resolve this before they blow all of us up too. How about rock, siscors, paper? Best of 5?"
All: "Yeah, that's fair. Loser gets the job."
* They play. Mustafah loses. *
M: "How about we make it best out of 7? Anyone? Hello? Where did everyone go? What's that whistling sound?"

It's an example of a democracy in reverse. The organisation elects a new leader who has tried their hardest not to get the job. Actually, this being Hamas, you can imagine them all queuing to be next in line. That's the scary part.

UPDATE: Tim Blair shows that I was wrong. There's wasn't any voting, because there wasn't anybody left to vote.