One of the benefits of Hong Kong's political system is its slowness. The genius of the system is it allows the city to watch other countries' experiments and laws, seeing what works and taking the best parts to make the Big Lychee even better.

The explains why its taken only 10 years for the government to come up with a unique racial discrimination law. The government has never been in a rush on this issue because Hong Kong is reasonably homogenous - less than 10% of the population is of non-Chinese ethnicity. Of the minorities, there are two main groups: the expats who are in no need of protection, and the army of domestic helpers who the vast majority of the population don't give a fig about. The law is holy (in the Swiss cheese sense of the word), as the SCMP reports:

The Race Discrimination Bill, drawn up after more than a decade of debate, makes discrimination, harassment and vilification on the grounds of race unlawful in six areas. They include employment; education; provision of goods, facilities, services and premises; election and appointment to public bodies; pupillages and tenancy by, and instruction to, barristers; and membership of and access to clubs.

But it includes a wide range of exemptions covering such areas as the language of instruction in schools, preferential treatment for overseas staff for reasons other than race, and differential treatment on the basis of indigenous villager status, nationality and resident status.

The most intriguing part is that relating to barristers: has discrimination been such a large issue for the Bar? It certainly isn't an issue at the bars of Wan Chai.

An article in the Standard today made amusing reading: the gobsmacked reporter was "shocked, shocked!" [in Casablanca parlance] that no companies on Hong Kong's second board, the Growth Enterprise Market (GEM), won any Corporate Governance Disclosure Awards.

Hong Kong's disclosure requirements from an accounting perspective are some of the weakest in Asia anyway (who needs to know the breakdown of operating profit?), and those of the GEM are even more iffy.

Even funnier was the revelation that these awards have a 'special' category for mainland companies listed in Hong Kong. A sort of 'Special Olympics' of Disclosure Awards, if you like, for the truth-challenged management boards of China's top firms. The top two winners were Jiangsu Expressway and Shenzhen Expressway, companies whose core operations would be, pardon the pun, rather 'straight-forward'...

Hong Kong got its first quality immigrant yesterday. It certainly doesn't say much for all of us who came here prior to Lang Lang's arrival. It's easy to tell that Mr Lang is a special person - Immigration stayed open an extra hour to accomodate him. No doubt all the other poor saps at Immigration Tower were kicked out right at 5pm, while everyone went and got their best uniforms on for the cameras.

In fact Hong Kong already is overstuffed with quality. Take our esteemed leader, Donald Tsang. He's getting slammed for saying:

The life expectancy in Hong Kong is among the highest in the world ... you can come to only one conclusion: we have the most environmentally friendly place for people, for executives, for Hong Kong people to live.

What The Don is missing is a clear chance to solve several problems at once. I propose the West Kowloon wasteland be transformed - not into a park, but a site for a series of giant fans that will blow the dirty air out to sea, where it can only harm merchant seaman and fish. Due to the urgent nature of this project, it should be awarded at once without tender to a joint venture between PCCW and Disney. The fans can be shaped like Mickey Mouse, creating the first Mickey visible from space (on a clear day), and the whole thing can be funded by a combination of apartments dubbed "West Kowloon on the Peak" and a casino on Lantau. With such a genius idea, I only ask for one thing: can I be a quality migrant too?

So far I can only see positive things coming out of global warming...such as Hong Kong's warmest November in 120 years. Perhaps if I worked in winter fashion I wouldn't be so sanguine.

There are some clear lines drawn in Hong Kong's political landscape, especially between the quixotic "democracy" camp and the syncophantic "pro-Beijing" camp. There are constant battles over fundamental issues such as universal suffrage, with the pro-Beijingers again voting the idea down for 2012 because Hong Kong is not politically mature enough...which sets up all sorts of internal contradictions (for example that the politicians of this politically immature city are deciding whether the city is mature or not).

One can roughly summarise the various political parties involved in Hong Kong into 4 groups: the main pro-Beijing party, the DAB, with its roots in trade unions and the "grassroots" (read the people who live in flats less than 500 square feet); the Democrats who are much the same as the DAB but want people to have a vote; the independents who form various groups (eg the Civic party) because even though they're an elite they still think the little people should or should not have a say in things; and the Liberal party, a curious group that would not normally exist except in a rigged system such as Hong Kong, and which is for, of and by the tycoons that control large swathes of the city's economy.

Now you know who's who in the zoo, today's Standard reports the Liberals have managed to do something unique and propose something that everyone else objected to: a casino on Lantau. Congatulations to James Tien for uniting Hong Kong's diverse polity.

The SCMP reports on a clampdown:

A popular performance and photo opportunities have been halted at the Shanghai Wild Animal Park after an outcry from animal rights activists, including the Hong Kong-based Animals Asia Foundation. But park spokesman Su Feilong would not rule out the return of the "Animal Olympics" show in the future. "We heard there were a small number of people, especially some foreigners, who objected to this show so we stopped it," Mr Su said yesterday.

The show, originally scheduled to run from last month to the end of this month, included 300 animals, ranging from monkeys to elephants, competing in events such as soccer matches, bicycle races and gymnastics.

The park also charged people to take photos with the animals, including tiger cubs, but some children were injured while posing with them. Witnesses have allegedly seen keepers shouting at and hitting the animals to make them pose for the pictures.

It's easy to mock the efforts of Hong Kong's civil service. Some say they are lavishly paid and cossetted, a group who would win gold in the running while standing still race. But The Don, an ex-civil servant himself, decided these hard working folk deserve to only work a 5 day week, giving up the largely meaningless few hours they spent every Saturday morning pushing paper and creating forms. Yet the people of Hong Kong were concerned. How could we still guarantee the high standards we've come to expect from these taxpayer funded bedrocks of society? So The Don guaranteed the civil service would work longer hours during the 5 days they did turn up at the office.

Now our tale takes a darker turn. Today our civil service find themselves grappling with the horns of a dilemma: do they give up some time at lunch hour to cut their working day?

Civil servants have asked the government to grant shorter lunch breaks to reduce the working-day period, which was expanded with the switch to the five-day week. Hong Kong Confederation of Trade Unions organizing secretary Kwok Kam-lam said the longer working day was affecting the evening activities of workers.

But Kwok also said shortening the lunch break could have the opposite effect on workers who may need the one hour to relieve tension from work.

Decades from now, when students ask their teachers, "What did APEC stand for?" Those teachers will answer, "Appalling Parade of Execrable Costumes."

See here, here and here for details.

The last one is particularly abominable.

What do we get out of dressing our world leaders up like Teletubbies?

The Economist this week has a letter from a David Crawley of Hong Kong:

I agree with your view, in relation to the Stern report on climate change, that governments should act on “the risk of something really catastrophic” (“Stern warning”, November 4th). I propose investing in a space defence system to protect against alien invasion. Like the melting of Greenland's ice sheet, only a minority of scientists perceive this as a threat and the costs of such a defence are enormous, but if aliens were to invade it would also be a disaster.

After years of holding out, a Sony software crash has finally pushed me towards joining the cult. I hereby declare the trend over.

I felt like I was in a 1930s movie yesterday in Hong Kong. Mainly, because the haze and visibility were so bad that colors were simply removed from my visual spectrum. Surprisingly, the API for Sunday was only "high", despite the fact that Lantau and Lamma Islands had disappeared from my apartment window in Pokfulam, and, while I was in Tung Chung for the afternoon, a vaguely plasticine odor hung in the air. 'High', according to the Environmental Protection Department, means that there is no immediate harmful effect on health. You may only find yourself coughing up blood a few years from now after prolonged exposure (or something to that effect). Perhaps they are not putting the sensors in the right place (i.e. buried 20 feet underground).

Given my smoggy, sepia-toned palette yesterday, I was very surprised to see this article about the ban on electric bicycles in Guangzhou. I assume there must be some traffic-related reason for this, but in an age of blanket smog, surely people riding electric bicycles can't be such a bad thing? Granted, the electricity used by bikes may very well come from a coal-fired plant (but maybe it's Daya Bay). The article unfortunately, did not shed light on why the bikes were banned. Anyone out there know why?

As we all know, real estate comes at a real premium in Hong Kong. And that goes for the dead, too - an actual burial here in Hong Kong with all the trimmings would probably set you back close to HK$1 million. Maybe more.

Obviously, not everyone can afford that. Or even the HK$150,000 or so it would cost to rent out a funeral home room and a tiny slot to place your loved one's urn.

So the Hong Kong government is now proposing that they would cremate the dead, and then have a designated area next to the sea where the ashes would be dump...oops, I mean deposited with dignity. Health Secretary York Chow:

"We are exploring with the relevant government departments to designate suitable areas in Hong Kong waters for sea burials and put in place a well devised application mechanism with clear approval criteria and conditions,"

Xinhua editors seem to be loving the Britney - Federline breakup. Because they not only wrote this article about the sex tape Kevin Federline has apparently made available between him and his ex, but they must have broken some Chinese Internet porn regulations by visiting the very definitely NSFW site Pornotube to do the research for the article.

Hands mockingly on hips (my own hips, that is): What is the world coming to?

For those in Hong Kong, why are government official plates all "AM"? Does it stand for anything?

It's long been a favourite topic of this site: panda p0rn. No word if the video comes with a cheesy soundtrack...but no doubt it will be on YouTube before too long.

OK, so I've heard a thing or two about 'Froogle', the online store assistant belonging to Google. This being my first visit, I type in 'Hong Kong' just to see what they offer for denizens of our lovely city.

The first item was from Sotheby's - some precious vase. So was the second. Precious cultural artifacts both.

The third item was a tacky Christmas souvenir that celebrates the harbour.

But the fourth will take some topping. It was a thong with a red Hong Kong bauhinia (in case I need remind you, the sterile hybrid orchid that is our city's symbol).

Clicking through, I think the 'sell' copy says it all:

Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets û putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is "outta sight" in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later.

Maybe HSBC banker and ballroom dancing queen Mimi Wong is going to have the last laugh...today's Standard, without a trace of irony, reprints an AP article saying a healthier heart just a waltz away.

Stumbled across this today (ironically, can't recall where): the story of a cognitive neuroscience student who finally worked out how he could use his knowledge for monetary gain instead of academia. What's really amazing is none of the other brain scientists have thought to try this.

Meanwhile there's more and fun and games over at Mark Clifford's SCMP. There's translations of the Chinese press articles at ESWN of course.

Some of you may have seen this headline already. Simply, state agencies in China have calculated that if the country did not have a one-child policy in place, it would have had 400 million more people.

Certainly the policy has borne fruit (just not of the baby variety!). China's economic growth could arguably have the policy to thank - and that growth would never have taken root if the large 4-7 children families of the past had continued to exist. Environmentally, if nothing else, it gives the world a bit more breathing room without that added consumption.

But surely now, as China begins to face up to its ageing population, exacerbated by illegal but nevertheless widespread sex-selective abortions, it will require a re-think on this strategy. Many seem to now be debating the wisdom of such a policy with these issues, particularly now in a China that is permissive about sex (but apparently not with the consequences!).

I do not want to get into that argument now. But I would say is this: I think the reason the CCP has not moved on this policy has to do with demographics. As I believe I've mentioned once before, the baby boom generation in America were born just after World War II, and came of age in the 1960s. There was probably a substantial correlation between the youth movements and protests of that era, and the demographic bulge in the 20-something age group. Does China perhaps fear the same? That if they allowed people to have more babies, and this would cause a youth surge that could potentially doom the Communist Party?

This Saturday night sees the last Star Ferry leaving from the old Hong Kong side wharf as the government continues in its efforts to move the wharf so close to the Kowloon side the ferry will serve as a bridge instead of a mode of transport. Conveniently located on a stretch of reclaimed land in front of Hong Kong's tallest homage of the phallus, the IFC, the new terminal looks exactly the same as the old one minus decades of grime. Happily the old terminal will soon be demolished to make way for a highway. It's great to watch progress in action.

To finish the week on a more high brow note, latest editions of both the Jamestown Foundation's China Brief and the Hoover Institution's China Leadership Monitor are out. The highlights:

Nan Li looks at new developments in the PLA's operational doctrine, which nicely leads into James Mulvenon's analysis of new trends in Chinese military corruption (who knew a place with thousands of years of history can find new corruption trends?). There's also a Ricahrd Weitz piece on the Sino-Russian arms dilemma and one on defense reform in Taiwan.

In the politics and economics area Barry Naughton talks about another cycle of macroeconomic crackdown (crackdown being the obligatory sensationalist word to use on anything China) which suggests China's economic policy is too rigid for its dynamic economy. Josephy Fewsmith looks at a Zhejiang city's experiment with opening up the budget process to public scrutiny within a "consultative democracy" framework and Alice Miller ponders the Hu succession problem.

Finally Alan Romberg disuccs the Taiwan-China-US triangle, saying Taiwan domestic politics will overshadow everything else, although with the newly elected Democrats looking to scratch their protectionist itch this could well be superceded by economic issues.

Happy reading, although you may not have enough time on the new 2 minute Star Ferry ride to get through it all.

Today's challenge: read this headline without laughing.

Update (9/11) And a new challenge for you, try this one from our newly liberated Singaporean friends.

Conventional wisdom says China's economic boom is a "miracle". The FEER has an article by a private equity partner taking aim at that idea, discussing a little noticed part of China's economic boom: the huge amount of investment it takes for China to support its growth. I'll repeat the conclusion but for anyone interested in what is really going on in China's economy (including a nice con as an introduction) it is well worth a read:

China has embarked on major banking reforms and meaningful progress has been made. But the economy’s growth continues to be driven by excessive liquidity, and so is costly and inefficient. Improving profitability, returns and efficiency remains the highest priority. While China is on the right track in her search for a cure, the last thing she needs is someone in a doctor’s white gown to come along to tell her she is in excellent health. Fortunately, the leadership knows better. The policy of the central bank to raise interest rates, mop up excess liquidity, curtail lending to overheated industries and generally increase the cost of capital is correct and necessary for sustained growth in the long term.

One of China's biggest problems is finding someone to speak up for oppressed minorities...as the SCMP reports:

Controversial sexologist Li Yinhe has been rebuked by a family planner for promoting the rights of swingers on the mainland. Dr Li triggered debate after writing on an online forum last month that swingers, or couples who swap sexual partners, were no threat to society as they did not breach the principles of confidentiality or consent among adults. ...Dr Li also advised mainland swingers "to get around the law by only sleeping with one person at a time". Under mainland law, it is forbidden for more than two people to engage in sexual activity in one location.

I've been looking into various cities in Guangdong (that are not Shenzhen or Guangzhou) for a day or weekend trip. I've settled on Jiangmen as a fascinating town with a rich local history, including the watchtowers of Kaiping, the Liang Qichao Memorial Museum, and perhaps a trip to the hot springs. A lot of money came back into Jiangmen from a host of its sons and daughters that made the dangerous trip as migrant workers overseas in the 19th and early 20th centuries.

But I was intrigued by the Jiangmen government tourism website. It's probably unfair of me to make fun of the English version, but I shall do it anyway. Under the heading local customs, it has this to say:

Amorous Feelings on Chuan Islands

[Evidently a place for courting couples - Ed.] Sea bath pool at Feisha beach...the first choice among sunny beach with snow-white sands, bright and clear water. Apart from that, other places worth a trip are Monkey Island [sounds like the title of a raunchy reality TV show -Ed.]; beautiful sunset glow in Shadi [no, that's Shah-DEE, Dave you dummy - Ed.]...oil cypress grove, diamond of vegetable kingdom [?-Ed/]; and mangrove.

Study: Fat, boozing mice stay healthy. That's lucky for the mice amongst us.

In other news, how many people does it take to organise a funeral? In Hong Kong, about 74 people. Can a committee of 74 people actually work? Do they sit around a table discussing floral arrangements?

In Simonworld's ongoing crusade to demonstrate that China's party organ Xinhua has a deep sense of humor, a few photo collages from today's edition.

The first, entitled 'Models at the Airshow in Zhuhai', makes no pretence, as it might have five years ago, to justify its title initially by showing model aeroplanes. It cuts right to the star attractions of these events for defense contractors here and here. It does not then say, but demonstrates in pictures, that the show is in reality also serving as a beauty pageant for China's domestic carriers to prove incontrovertibly that it has the most beautiful air hostesses. Xiamen Airlines seemed the most popular for the photographer with their rather short one-piece minis.

Then in another section featuring at once a fine display of photojournalism and a paean to unbridled capitalism, a photo essay entitled Renault Boss' Girlfriend Poses for Calendar. Look what you can get if you own a car company!

Oh and this one for a rip-roaring time.

Via Gizmodo UK, the Chinese Cauca-bot(tress) that sings karaoke, apparently. Her renditions of traditional Chinese ballads seem great, although she's got the lip-symching abilities of Milli Vanilli. She's also stacked and doesn't wear a bra. Evidently the Russian girls working the Chinese body politic are not getting the job done, in terms of their singing local songs, anyway...

We've not had many lurid posts lately and I thought this perky Lara Croft-meets-Chinese diva robot might do the trick!

"Li stake sale in hands of Singapore voters" screams The Standard's front page. Nice to know Singapore's voters get a say in corporate governance at least.

Completely unrelated, Justin Mitchell writes about the creeping growth of Halloween in Hong Kong.