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May 19, 2004

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Mr Bell

I just tried ringing the bank manager I've dealt with over the years. His phone number has changed so I rang the central switchboard:

Me: "Can I have the number of Mr. Blah?"
Other guy: "What number do you have sir?"
Me: "1234-5678 but I just tried it and got a message telling me the number is not connected."
Other guy: "That's not the right number."
Me: "I know that. What is the new number?"
Other guy: "What is this regarding?"
Me: "Get this - it's about my bank account."
Other guy: "Can I help you, sir?"
Me: "No. If you could I would have asked you."
Other guy: "Let me try Mr. Blah's line...I have reached his message bank, would you like to leave a message?"
Me: "Yes, but what is his number for future reference?"
Other guy: "Our policy is that I cannot tell you, sir."

Of course. Why give your customers telephone numbers of the staff? They may want to do some business. Let's keep it a secret so you can deal with the inane telephone menu that leads you to a peon who has no idea what you are talking about and says you need to talk to Mr. Blah.

 posted by Simon on 05.19.04 at 12:13 PM in the




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Comments:

You could try 'I am Mr Blah's cardiologist - try not to shock him'.

Or maybe, "I'm calling from the AIDS clinic and it's a personal matter...."

The other one I have heard is when they offer "Can I help you", you say "OK. Tell me what you are wearing and we can start this fantasy rolling....". That will get you transferred really fast....

 posted by: Ozguru on 05.19.04 at 01:42 PM [permalink]

Don't you love having to explain your whole long story to eight people before you get the right guy. I think they're hoping you give up.

 posted by: Paul on 05.19.04 at 09:01 PM [permalink]

I just let them take the message, and that message is:

"This is the [made up name] social disease clinic and that the results of the tests came back positive. Please have him compile a list of *all* sexual contacts he's had in the last year and immediately contact us at [make up a number]."

 posted by: Ted on 05.20.04 at 04:09 AM [permalink]




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