March 03, 2004

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Dealing with loss

I work in an open office. There are very few offices and even those with offices spend much of their day out of them. The rest of us work in rows. Each row has 6 people in it, grouped in twos. Each workstation has computer screens (from 2 up to 6), keyboards, phone system, handsets, wires, photos, flags - the usual paraphernalia of a workplace. It takes some getting used to being in such an open environment. There is no such thing as privacy. There is a certain etiquette but there is very little that isn't overheard. That makes for a particularly open workplace where there are few secrets, including the personal. It means that like it or not you have to get along with the people you sit with. You don't have to be best friends but you need to be able to get along. It means that rows tend to become close and share a bond, the common bond of work. I spend more time with these people with my family and even though I like these guys, I love my family. And the rules of behaviour are very different between work and home. That's for another time.

A co-worker resigned yesterday. She is a great person, very sweet and helpful. As a local her knowledge was invaluable in helping the expats in our row. She always offers to be the interlocutor in personal dealings with non-English speakers. She is a bright and friendly lady - in the daily banter she never said much (given much of the drivel that goes back and forwards that is a sign of intelligence) but she is diligent and competent. She is well respected and well liked. That's saying something if you think about it.

It was not a huge surprise that she resigned. Office politics being what they are, and the fact she had spent almost 10 years in the company meant it was time for a move. But such a move rips the fabric of the row. The row is out of balance and will take time to find again. Looking at her chair today, without its red cardigan, its blank screens, its clean desk brings a touch of melancholy. The row seems a little quieter today. There was no chirpy "Jo sun" (good morning in Cantonese).

When she announced yesterday she was leaving she did it in her typically understated style. She quietly sidled up to my partner and my desk and told us in a soft voice that she was going. She was crying. She explained her reasons, not that they needed much explaining. After that there wasn't much to say. A beer will be had in the next few days. But in banking once you resign you leave the office. Straight away. There's no working out 4 weeks notice. You leave because they don't want you telling your clients or having anything to do with the bank. It makes perfect sense but it means that goodbyes are hurried and seemingly incomplete. There's no closure. Simply one moment the person is here and the next they are gone. There's no time to get used to the idea. It's just a gap in the row.

For most even though we work in such close proximity for long periods of time you tend to lose contact once they leave the firm. Despite sharing so much, knowing so much about them, unless you become particularly close you are unlikely to speak to them again unless you happen to bump into them at a function or in the street. Others you may drop occasional emails to or even rare phone calls. But out of sight usually means out of mind. Yet every person I've me through my working life, regardless of whether I've liked them or loathed them, I've learnt from. I've been fortunate enough that most of the time the people I've worked with have been relatively normal - different enough from one another to be interesting but similar enough to not start World War 3 every day. I still speak to many of them and each one has had some kind of influence on me.

That's why I'm going to miss you, Sammy. Good luck.

posted by Simon on 03.03.04 at 04:19 PM in the




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Comments:

i thought she left because of you!

posted by: CF on 03.03.04 at 05:32 PM [permalink]




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