November 04, 2005

You are on the invidual archive page of Lies, The Don and timetables. Click Simon World weblog for the main page.
Lies, The Don and timetables

The Don continues his world tour, spending 15 minutes with Tony Blair and reporting "Tony thinks I'm great, because Dick Cheney told him so." Is he telling Dick and Tony something he's not telling us? Meanwhile back in the city he's meant to be running, a poll tells us the most Hong Kongers want universal suffrage by 2012. More fool us - it's becoming clear the Chief Executive works not for his shareholders (Hong Kongers) but for his board of directors in Beijing.

Stephen Vines has a great piece today saying when The Don misleads the public over small issues, can he be trusted on the big ones? He concludes:

This is not to be fatalistic about the prospects of democratic reform but it is to say that the objective of achieving universal suffrage will not be achieved without a determined struggle. Lamentably, it will not come about by believing the words of the chief executive.
As I've said before, both The Don and Beijing are missing a great and painless chance to make a great leap forward, engender a cultural revolution and complete the path to universal suffrage. They are the fools if they miss the chance.

While the China Daily thunders a timetable is the devil, HK Magazine has stumbled across secret "Democracy Timetable"...

November 2005: Beijing promises the people of HK full democracy just as soon as the city is "mature enough" and everyone can be "relied on" to vote Communist.

December 2005: HK organises a gigantic rally in support of universal suffrage. Lee Wing-tat, Emily Lau and Martin Lee wave joyously to the crowd. Longhair gets another haircut. Organisers say 1,000,000 people attend the march. Police estimates put the number at 38. Beijing says the unrest is a result of the city being "overtired".

March 2006: Despite continued Legco protests, Donald Tsang insists HK is "not mature enough" for democracy. He backs up this claim by pointing out a high prevalence of acne among civil servants, the local fondness for Hello Kitty and the large percentage of office ladies still living with their parents. Longhair protests by leaving a case of Spot Remover at Tsang's office.

July 1, 2007: 2,000,000 HK taxpayers [there are that many? - Ed.] take to the streets in an orderly pro-democracy march. Appalled at such "immaturity", Beijing demolishes the Legco building. Lawmakers must now meet in a bouncy castle.

December 2007: Donald Tsang, anticipating his second term in office, says that everyone's skin is looking better, but you "still need time to grow". Beijing backs his comments, while secretly funding another giveaway of Disney toys at 7-Elevens across the city.

December 2016: Having created a new law giving himself an unprecedented third term in office, Tsang makes a special appearance in Legco chambers [Ed. - I thought they were demolished? Or is this Tamar?]. "It's just your hormones speaking," he says in response to cries for universal suffrage. Beijing is too busy to respond as party members are reportedly out shopping for designer goods.

April 2030: Chia set up a space station on Mars. In what is described as a "controlled experiment in self-governance," astronauts are allowed to vote on chicken feet- or fishhead-flavoured capsules for dinner.

July 1, 2036: Longhair dies while leading 3,000,000 peaceful protesters in a democracy march (police count 12) after his four-metre-long gray locks are caught in Emily Lau's electric wheelchair.

October 2045: In a passionate plea for democracy that stuns the city, Tsang, now 100, bald and incontinent, appears in nappies for his last policy address and pledges to the city: "Goo-goo ga-ga." Beijing dismisses the outburt as "baby-talk".

July 2046: Beijing announces Hong Kong is finally mature enough for full democracy. Citizens are asked to vote either "in favour of the Communist party" or "against those opposed to the Communist party".

posted by Simon on 11.04.05 at 10:00 AM in the Hong Kong democracy/politics category.


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Send a manual trackback ping to this post.

Excerpt: mickshic
Weblog: carts cones drills earplug edger
Tracked: March 10, 2006 02:18 PM


Democracy is a game with 49% following 51% whole heartedly. Otherwise there will be civil wars everytime there comes big dividing issues. In HK the majority, save at 70%, has to follow the say 5%. We do not get universal suffrage because we are not united to the extent that over half of the population takes to the street. We want democracy,..... we'll follow the 'silent' MAJORITY--- we're tasting our own medicine!!!

posted by: Arthur on 12.04.05 at 01:05 AM [permalink]

Post a Comment:


Email Address:



Remember your info?