May 31, 2005

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My Empire for a PR hack

I saw Star Wars: The Final Merchandising Grab yesterday. Given the low bar Lucas had set with the first two movies in this half of the trilogy, it worked. But I feel for Anakin/Darth Vader and his new Master. They don't stand a chance, and all because of a simple mistake.

Why call it "The Dark Side of the Force"? Why be represented by a guy with wrinkles and wonky eyes and another voiced by James Earl Jones and wearing a shiny black outfit? Five minutes with a marketing guru can tell you its all wrong.

Far better would be to call it "The Cool side of the Force" or "The Fun side of the Force". Start labelling Obi Wan and Yoda as "The Goodie Goodie side of the Force". Offer a few key bloggers the chance to become Sith Lords themselves, helping to spread the word and adding to the "hippness" factor. Instead of a withered old man, hire Angeline Jolie to be the Empress in an appropriately tight-fitting uniform.

No need for the Galatic Empire to thank me.

posted by Simon on 05.31.05 at 09:13 AM in the


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My first good laugh of the day.

If only Vader used some earthtones...


posted by: Eaglespeak on 06.01.05 at 04:52 AM [permalink]

Speak of a PR Flack and he appears, rather like the Devil. I actually think what you want is a *marketing* person to make the Dark Side relevant to the attractive demographic that Anakin represents (mid 20s, beginning to have some earning power, sexually frustrated, fashion conscious etc.).

We PR people would take an entirely different, more jargon driven approach. So you'd hear about:

"The value-added side of the Force" or
"The empowering side of the Force" or even "The side of the Force offering the lowest total cost of ownership*".

*According to a Microsoft and Palpatine-sponsored survey of Sith lords in management roles at Fortune 500 Empires.

As you can see, marketing is probably preferable. But any time the Dark Side needs a press release, hey, I'm there.

posted by: Will on 06.02.05 at 11:56 AM [permalink]

Will, you're right. Better work on that press release while I convene a conference call with marketing. We need a paradigm shift here.

posted by: Simon on 06.02.05 at 03:14 PM [permalink]

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