Time for something different. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.

• You know more about medicine than most doctors.

• You discover your parents were right, damn it.

• You find yourself doing and saying things your parents did and said to you despite your childhood vows to the contrary.

• 8:30pm seems like an ungodly hour but 5am does not.

• There is a three letter word that beats sex: bed.

• You can hold a conversation, monitor 360 degrees around you, eat, hold a baby and think it all normal.

• You can spot another parent without speaking or even knowing them.

• The idea of a good night is no phone calls, all errands done and everyone in bed before 8pm.

• You miss hangovers.

• The sight of vomit/blood/poo/pish/drool and any other bodily fluids have no impact on you whatsoever.

• You can video, take a photo with a separate camera, sing happy birthday and blow out the candles at the same time.

• You can patronise your single and childless friends with "just wait until you have kids"

• You realise what non-returnable really means.

• Adult interaction consists of reading emails...including spam.

• The thought of watching kids sing old songs out of tune for an hour fills you with excitement and pride.

• Juggling looks easy.

• You can actually be not two but three places at once.

• You can hand out advice like this.

• You can watch your kids make and do all the same stupid things you did.

• You can listen to your kids going through the same with their kids as you went through with them...and laugh about it.

• You can sing the theme songs and know the characters of 72 different kids shows and movies.

• Your TV is permanently set on the cartoon channel.