First posted: February 20th, 2004

Email. It is reckoned to have been "a good thing", saving paper, speeding communications, enhancing workplaces and information flows. It is cheap, quick and convenient. It has a lot to answer for.

Email is an excuse for laziness. Its very convenience lends itself to people engaging it without thinking, much like talking. Often email acts as a written one-sided conversation. It has the advantage that you can tackle it at a time and place of your choosing. You can delete, edit, reply, forward, copy, import, export, bend, twist and (sadly) live for it. It's cheapness and format are such that people rarely think about it. That has to stop.

So I hereby humbly present some Laws Of Email:

1. Before adding someone in the To or CC box, ask if they really need to see it.
A sender's instinct is to copy far too many people on emails that may have little to do with the recipients. This breaks down into three main reasons. One is arse-covering - if everyone's been copied no-one can say they didn't know. The second is the arse-sucking - look at me, I'm so good, I just did this, aren't I clever. Lastly is the arse-draining - regularly sent blocks of information churned out and blasted as more information fodder. The best way to think about it is to put yourself in each recipient's shoes and ask if you would read it if you were them.
2. Replies to emails are worse than the originals.
Replies are usually instantaneous reactions. They are rarely well thought out considerations of the issues and topics brought up in the original. Often it leads to a quickly disintegrating cascade of misunderstandings and insults that finally gets sorted out in the traditional manner: by speaking to each other.
3. There is no email in the world that deserves a one-word reply.
Don't send me an email saying "Thanks". It's 3 seconds of my life I can't get back.
4. Just because it's an email doesn't mean the rules of English grammar don't apply.
Little things like punctuation and capital letters are really not too difficult to find on a keyboard. Or so you would think. English grammar is not particularly easy but the basics are. Once you work out how to write complete sentences and where pesky commas should go at least I've got a chance of understanding your intent. Going overboard is a danger too. Three exclamation marks don't make the point any better than one. Smileys and abbreviations have a place but don't go overboard either, unless you want the email look like alphabet soup.
5. Email is not a replacement for the telephone (or other person-to-person interaction).
Email is a static medium. It is not a form of dialogue. It is the modern era's form of correspondence. There's a world of difference. Don't be a lazy idiot because you can't be bothered picking up the phone or walking around the corner to talk to someone. This leads to...
6. Don't call me to tell me you sent an email.
I look at emails when and as I can. I don't need a minute long phone call telling me to look at my email. Especially when you could have told me the contents of that email in the phone call.
7. If you are relying on a spell-checker, at least use some common sense.
Just because Microsoft says a word is spelt wrong, you don't have to agree. Some people are no good at spelling and checkers work for them, but for God's sake use your brain a little and make sure the result is still in English.
8. It is not a crime to read over an email before you send it.
Just because you dashed it off doesn't mean you've got to hit the send button. The email doesn't evaporate. Do the world a favour and read it once. You'll be amazed at the baloney you've written.
9. Make each message brief and to the point.
The best emails have the main points in the first few lines; if you have other guff then add it below. We've all got inboxes stuffed to overflowing so the quicker and more simply you can get the information across the better place the world will be. Here's a hint: why not make the title of your email descriptive enough that people will know the contents before they open it.
10. Don't forget there are other forms of correspondence.
Email can be a great way to keep in touch with distant family and friends. But really the ancient art of letter writing needn't be discarded at the great altar of technology. Handwritten letters, even with scrawling writing and crossing outs, is far more personal. You may even remember how to write with a pen if you use it once in a while. And stamps don't set you back that much.
11. Spam is bad, don't make it worse.
Look at your email and the people you sent it to. If your name wasn't there would you call it useful? Helpful? Or a waste of space.
12. Viruses are bad, don't make them worse.
Don't open attachments unless you are 100% sure you know the source and are expecting the file. Morons who haven't realised that opening that ZIP file from ax123@yahoo.com will get what they deserve, but you needn't join them in the 7th circle of Hell.
13. Etiquette is not a four letter word.
Don't use all capitals. Don't even say "Oops I had the Caps Lock on" half way through. Just use the Backspace button and try again. Just because it is an email being polite is not a crime. You needn't sign off with a Your Obedient Servant, but putting your name at the end is a good start. That said you don't need an all singing signature either. Avail yourself of some pointers and advice.
14. Get organised.
You needn't reply to every email straight away. Many are junk and useless. But not replying at all is the same as picking up the phone but not saying anything. Replying too quickly can get you in trouble (as mentioned earlier) but taking days or weeks to reply certainly doesn't help either. If you're getting overwhelmed with email, do something about it. Start sorting mail into folders. Use the filters and rules. Start asking people to take you off lists. Stop getting Dilbert and Joke-a-Day sent to your inbox if it's getting clogged up. Be diligent and prioritise. Look at the email - does it need immediate action? Can it wait? Can it be deleted without reading? Don't wait for later. Later never comes.
15. Encourage others to follow the rules.
The world isn't go to be a better place if you do it on your own. Encourage others to follow your example.
16. Stop whinging and start doing.
The ritual of returning from holiday and impressing everyone with how many emails you have is quickly replacing other forms of measuring importance such as status, fame and success. Your job competence is not related to your inbox size; indeed the better you are at handling email the better you will be in your job. Everyone's in the same boat so get on with it and stop talking about it.