November 24, 2004

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Gone to the dogs

Last night I finally met the man on who my wife has been lavishing large amounts of cash and attention: the vet. His clinic was hosting a talk by a noted animal behaviourist. I walked in and was greeted by an Armani-suited, Cartier-glasses, Rolex watch wearing man who introduced himself with a broad smile and a hearty handshake. I gently noted it was interesting almost everybody was already seated and waiting, given the starting time was 7:30pm and it was exactly 7:30pm. I joked it seems funny that when it comes to dogs* everyone is punctual whereas if this had been a financial seminar it would start an hour late. Chukles all round.

Not 5 minutes later the vet stands up. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's funny how everyone is punctual for a talk on dogs; if it had been about money this would start an hour late." Hey! That's my joke. First you take my money, now you take my jokes. Careful, bucko, I know where you work.

The behaviourist starts his talk, titled "Preparing your dogs and cats for being left alone." He covered seperation related behaviours (not anxiety, that term is passe), how to recognise them and how to anticipate them. It included some amusing videos of dogs causing havoc. Finally he turns to how to deal with these problems. He said,

"If these other treatments fail we now have pharmacological methods to deal with these behaviours. A common prescription for dogs is Prozac or Valium."
I laughed. Loudly. Too loudly. To my horror I saw that no-one else was even smiling and this was serious. I stifled my laughter even as I pictured dogs on Prozac. He repeatedly talked about using drugs to help dogs for the rest of the night. As we left Mrs M and I agreed he seemed overly-eager to reach for the drugs to solve problems. I casually asked Mrs M if she thought if the idea of dogs on Prozac was amusing. "Not especially", she said.

Maybe it's just me. Dogs on Prozac. That's going to keep me smiling all day.

* In theory the seminar also covered cats, but really who cares about the feckless felines?

posted by Simon on 11.24.04 at 10:35 AM in the


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Cinnamon must be rolling in her grave right now....

posted by: paul on 11.24.04 at 01:09 PM [permalink]

I got a chuckle from that.

Next they'll be diagnosing dogs with ADD.

posted by: kennycan on 11.24.04 at 06:48 PM [permalink]

Does the pet psychic come next week to help those former owners who overdosed their dogs on prozac contact their pets from beyond the veil?

I would have laughed, too, Simon. At least I'd have snorted.

posted by: RP on 11.24.04 at 08:39 PM [permalink]

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