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November 17, 2004

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Some simple office rules

1. Please read this email guide if you want to avoid this.
2. Do not turn and leave the printer or photocopier as soon as a paper jam occurs, waiting for some magical fairy to come and fix it for you. Fix it your God-damn self. These days the machines practically hold your hand to fix the jam. You will not get hurt. I promise.
3. Do not turn and leave the printer or photocopies once it runs out of paper, waiting for some magical fairy to come and replace it for you. Do it your God-damn self.
4. Do not turn and leave the water fountain once it is empty, when there are plenty of bottles on the griound. If you think they are "too heavy to lift", may I recommend you never try picking up a baby.
5. Work out who are morning people and who are not. Do not be overly conversation and friendly with the non-morning people until they have either (a) had at least one coffee or (b) it is after 11am.
6. Do not wait until the last few seconds before a person is leaving for the day to ask inane questions that could wait until the morning. And in the morning, check point 5.
7. Yes, I'm on the phone. That's why the earpiece is attached to my ear and why I'm talking to seemingly no-one.
8. Waiting over my shoulder will not make me finish my phone call any earlier.
9. If I keep buying the chewing gum that seems to sustain hundreds of people in the office each day, it wouldn't hurt for you to occassionally buy some yourself (that one's for you, Aaron).
10. I like my co-workers, but I love my family. If it's a choice between spending more time at work or basking in the warm glow of my family's love, guess which it will be.
11. If someone leaves a message for me, it would be handy to get it once I get back to my desk, rather than a week or so later.

 posted by Simon on 11.17.04 at 02:21 PM in the




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Comments:

Yeah, I hate it when people get 'overly conversation'

 posted by: shaky on 11.17.04 at 05:42 PM [permalink]

I am absolutely dumbfounded that #10 even has to be said but it surely does.

 posted by: Rob on 11.18.04 at 03:38 AM [permalink]

your email missives will be pubishable as a book or worse on their own website

 posted by: da on 11.18.04 at 12:02 PM [permalink]




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