I've just had a 45 minute session with a "no-cost, obligation free" financial consultant who told me I will be destitute by age 60 unless I invest with him. Now I'm off to a 3 hour training session where a lawyer will tell 30 people about a bunch of US regulations that make my eyes glaze over at the thought.

When it rains it pours.

UPDATE: The session started badly: we had an American lawyer who thought he was funny and his material was interesting. What was worse were the inside jokes he shared with his fellow lawyers and at one stage we enjoyed the spectacle of two lawyers arguing over obscure aspects of US Securities Law. What a sight to behold. I managed to plough through most of my Spike magazine in peace (it wasn't a risk- it was well hidden by the handouts and the content didn't raise a chuckle).

The climax (if I can use such a word in this context) was a video on the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, a piece of US legislation that says not to pay bribes to other Government officials. It was an instructional video, although the casting was a little confused. The stereotypical Ivy-league investment bankers got through their parts well: the confused young tyke under the wing of the egomanical devil-may-care rules-are-for-sissies style BSD* who only cares about winning the deal. Where I got confused was when the Finance Minister of Whereverville had a plummy English accent, sitting his chesterfield and oak-panelled office sipping from a pewter goblet. Yet later when our BSD was arrested, it was by some sinister Arab looking gents imitating Feds in their sunglasses and black suits.

The funniest was that the "good guys" were the lawyers and the baddy was the guy that won the deal.

The moral was clear: the difference between a bribe and a deal is the amount of money involved.

* _{Big Swinging Dick - see Liar's Poker by Michael Lewis for details of "the good old days".}