March 29, 2004

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Space and time

Hong Kong car parks exist in a warped space-time continuim that bears no resembelence to the rest of the known universe.

Firstly you enter them. This is never easy as it usually involves running over hoardes of pedestrians whom seem oblivious to the 750 kg of car trying to get through the driveway. Of course, if you are a pedestrian you must ignore all cars trying to get into car parks, but that's for another day. Often an attendant in a flurescent yellow jacket and orange airport waving thingy (that's the technical term) comes to your aid - just as you've made it through. Next you need to switch sides. Hong Kong drives on the left, but in car parks the reverse is true, sometimes. In fact sides of road become a random decision based on what's coming the other way. And if enough space exists to pass. Which it doesn't.

You make your way up or down a dizzying spiral before coming to a floor that has spaces. You can tell because an attendant jumps out and points it out for you using one of their orange airport waving thingys. You wait for someone to complete their attempt to squeeze into a spot that is inches too small for any regular car. Then it is your turn. Challenging everything you've ever learnt about spatial relations you ease the car into the space. Then you try to open your door, only to find you are hemmed in by other cars or randomly placed poles. Hense all cars in HK have dent collections on their sides, even though the cars themselves are often top of the line models. And hense why gweilos tend to drive crap cars in Hong Kong.

Returning one has to stop at the shroff office, which is one of the ugliest words in the English language. There someone who hates the world takes your ticket and demands a king's ransom for the privilege of having your car turn into a golf ball. Unless it is one of the flashy new car parks, which are exactly the same as the old ones except you pay using credit card or Octopus card at the exit. Be careful for those drivers that are more important than you as you leave. They will let you know who they are by talking on their mobiles, constantly trying to overtake you and/or racing to get into their cars and away before you. Yes, I'm talking about you blue Mercedes GF 2557 from Saturday in Causeway Bay. Once your heart rate returns to normal, repeat trying to run over pedestrians as you exit. Then blend in with the relaxing Hong Kong traffic for the journey home.

posted by Simon on 03.29.04 at 12:04 PM in the




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Comments:

Have you ever tried to park a _big_ car in one of those cages at the roof top of the IKEA car park? Don't!

posted by: fumier on 03.29.04 at 07:28 PM [permalink]

shroff is an Indian loan word (as we seem to call them here). No idea what it is doing in common usage in Hong Kong...

posted by: Chris on 03.29.04 at 08:35 PM [permalink]

Fumier - in fact this post was prompted by our weekend visit to the car park opposite Ikea at Causeway Bay; we usually use the one next to Ikea but we've never been game to go to the cages.

Chris: when we first got here we thought Shroff was some Chinese word. It is perhaps the ugliest word I've ever heard.

posted by: Simon on 03.29.04 at 09:15 PM [permalink]




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