Today the internet is slow in the office. The only possible reason is because it is a slow day and everyone is trying to use the damn thing at the same time. It also leads to the inevitable emails titled "Try this", "Interesting" or "Games".

Courtesy of Emily comes this one which uses numerology to help you pass 5 minutes you would otherwise use to stare out the window. I've enclosed my results in the extended entry in the hope that one day I'll be bothered reading the full thing.

That said I am not happy the computer is on first names basis with me. Sure I call it various (unpublishable) names, but this is a level of familiarity better suited to a pimply waiter in an American restaurant than an inanimate electronic device.

Ki System

Natal Year number: 9
A cheerful soul, Simon is an attractive individual whose humour and charm can inspire others to follow his ideas. Although his active brain can generate many bright ideas, he cannot be guaranteed to finish one idea before starting on the next. Although money tends to burn a hole in his pocket, Simon will always maintain the impression that all is well.

Natal Month number: 2
Compassionate and supportive of others, Simon is something of a perfectionist who will find it hard to delegate even routine tasks. Simon is hard-working and good with details, but to get the best out of him, Simon needs to know that in the end his efforts will be properly rewarded and acknowledged.

Natal House number: 3
With a high energy level, and ambitions to match, Simon will show early promise. Unless his tendency to expel this energy on too many projects can be overcome, a promising beginning may soon evaporate, giving way to anger and frustration. Simon is someone who enjoys a good time with an active social life, and needs the direction of more sober minds.

Comments based on Western Grid

1

Although Simon may be reasonably talkative in public, he finds it difficult to express personal feelings to those closest to him. In employment terms, this inhibition is of little consequence.

3

With a creative mind and a good memory, Simon is honest, straightforward and optimistic. He will achieve his aims. He is capable of creative thought, and will appreciate art and music. He also enjoys an excellent memory - a significant advantage in any employment.

5

Well-balanced, with an understanding and compassionate nature, Simon is a natural leader who can inspire others. But he needs a certain amount of freedom at work and at home. With a compassionate and caring nature, and with the ability to get on well with others, Simon will be a strong member of any team and will provide solid inspiration and support to his colleagues.

7

Simon will find life's lessons hard to learn. He will suffer from loss (of possessions or those he loves) before questioning the cause of that loss. It is likely that Simon will develop a faith of some sort, and although it need not necessarily be a religious faith, it will nevertheless be something that he holds onto against all the evidence. Potential employers need to find out what that faith entails.

8

Good with details and with a methodical approach, Simon nevertheless is someone who enjoys constant new challenges to maintain his interest. He is a methodical individual with attention to detail, but is inclined to leave tasks unfinished if his active mind alights on something of greater interest. Routine tasks that fail to challenge his intellect are at greatest risk, so Simon needs a job that offers variety.

9

Ambitious to improve his lot, Simon will constantly push forward to achieve something in his life, yet this ambition will be balanced by humanitarian ideals that will lead him to support causes that may demand self-sacrifice.
[The Arrow of Compassion: the numbers 3, 5 and 7] Over time Simon will develop a strong faith and a compassionate view of humanity. It is quite likely that he will enjoy music, or pursue a musical career. There is a mystical quality to Simon that may lead him to develop a powerful faith in some aspect of life that will sustain him as he grows older.
[The Arrow of Activity: the numbers 7, 8 and 9] Enjoying the outdoors, Simon is someone who will perform best by being busy. He dislikes confined spaces, and needs both physical and mental exercise. A good walk in fresh air is an intellectual catalyst like no other to Simon, whose need to be constantly occupied is an asset to any employer.
[The Arrow of Determination: the numbers 1, 5 and 9] Determined and persistent, Simon has the patience to wait until he has achieved his goal. He enjoys a progressive and enterpreneurial approach, and as such, will be an asset to any employer. If the number 4 (in the Western Grid) is missing, he will be inclined to lose his temper on occasions.

Comments based on Chinese Grid

1

Simon will make some money and enjoy a reasonable standard of living.

3

Unless Simon also has in the Chinese version either the numbers 5 and 7, or the numbers 4 and 8, he will be hypersensitive and prone to stress-related problems.

4

Intelligent and logical, Simon is not someone who acts rashly on the spur of the moment.

6

Simon is family-orientated, and needs a pleasant working environment as well as a comfortable home.

7

If the numbers 3 and 5 in the Chinese version are missing, Simon is something of a perfectionist who seeks to achieve detailed accuracy, and has a natural instinct to unearth the truth. If the Chinese Grid also contains the numbers 3 and 5, he will be attracted to work in a spiritual or humanitarian field.

9

Although Simon is ambitious, his ambition is tempered with humanitarian ideals.
[The Arrow of Frustration: Lacking the numbers 2, 5 and 8] Simon will be frustrated by events over which he seems to have little or no control. Failure can be avoided if he thinks carefully before acting.