It's time to wrap up everything you really need to know about the world this week:

1. Hugh Grant admits what everyone already knew: doing sex scenes is fun, especially if lots of people are watching. Oh, and he's a dysfunctional cad too: "Being a well-known person with a bit of money has had an extremely alluring effect on women up to now," he says. "It's by no means a curse - it's a blessing." Divine Brown anyone?

2. Via Metastatis and A Better Tomorrow there's a perfect example of why Cantonese papers should only be read without food. A step-by-step graphical guide to cannibalism. Cooking instructions to follow.

3. It's not like the Sepos (Americans) to go too far...

4. Sometimes dogs have 9 lives too.

5. I'm all for greater exposure of politicians to the public.

6. Science has finally answered the question why there is a worm in bottles of tequila.

7. Who says the Queen isn't updating the monarchy?

Finally this needs to be repeated in full.

Some of the more offbeat results of medical research reported this year:
- Teenage boys around the country rejoiced after a Victorian researcher announced that masturbation could reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
- Medical experts warned against using ice cube enemas to revive drug overdose victims. "The first time I heard the story...I was quite surprised at the inventiveness," said drug safety educator Paul Dillon.

"It has now gone beyond a joke."
- A Sydney student who ate garden slugs for a $20 dare ended up with more than a reputation as an idiot when he developed meningitis, the Medical Journal of Australia reported.
- Royal Darwin hospital defended performing a caesarian on a woman who wasn't pregnant. The woman had claimed to be pregnant, the Hospital's Len Notaris said.
- A man became the world's first recipient of a human tongue transplant in Vienna. Not to be outdone, a NSW man became the first person to have a new upper jaw made from his arm with help from Sydney surgeons.
- A doctor's lobby group in Brisbane called for more community awareness about discrimination against short people after a barrister's decision to have a leg-lengthening procedure to make her taller.
- A north Queensland nightclub did its bit for safe sex by offering patrons STD tests at the door.
- People who have difficulty identifying smells may be at risk of developing schizophrenia, Melbourne University researchers revealed.
- According to a Canberra study, pet owners are less educated, fatter, more likely to smoke and drink and more likely to have high blood pressure than those without.
- Get out those razors, guys. Men who don't need to shave every day are 70 per cent more likely to suffer a stroke than those who do, research from Bristol University in the UK revealed.
- German researchers were charged with sniffing the sweaty armpits of a group of volunteers to test the effectiveness of the anti-wrinkle treatment Botox as an anti-perspirant. Separate research released in the US said male sweat could reduce stress and induce relaxation in women – and even affect the menstrual cycle.
- An 85-year-old widow was so determined not to be resuscitated that she had the words "do not resuscitate" tattooed across her chest
- Spanish researchers diagnosed an extremely rare disease that makes people smell of fish. Trimethylaminuria, or fish odour syndrome, is caused by a liver abnormality.
- Power-dressing business men could increase their risk of eye damage by wearing their ties too tight. The warning was published in the British Journal Of Ophthalmology.
- People with shorter thighs have an increased risk of diabetes, according to a US study.
- A baby born with three legs in China underwent surgery to remove the extra limb. The 14-month abandoned baby, Qing Qing, had a third leg growing from her back.
- Researchers in the Netherlands brought the world underpants that can detect heart irregularities and call an ambulance if necessary.
- Just standing next to a fat person can be bad for your image, a University of Liverpool study found.
- A US anaesthetist made an unexpected discovery after implanting electrodes in a female patient's spine during a pain relief procedure.

During the ensuing operation – as the electrodes began generating tiny electrical pulses – the patient began exclaiming emphatically.

When asked what was up, she said, "You're going to have to teach my husband to do that."

The doctor has since patented the device as a sexual dysfunction therapy known as the "orgasmatron".

He is seeking volunteers for a trial.