There's at least one person in the world today who could do with some cheering up. I'm officially boycotting a certain Swedish telecom company's mobile phone products and encourage others to trade in their phones named after Vikings for those made by the Finns, Japanese or Koreans.

Instead I offer this selection of news stories from around the world:

1. There's at least one Swedish company that doesn't suck: Swedes trust IKEA... more than their own government, politicians, media or trade unions, according to a new poll published Wednesday. Hang on a second, no humna can put together IKEA furniture, especially if you follow the cryptic instructions. They suck too.

2. Next Wednesday's HK Blogging night of nights would do well to challenge this record: A vodka-drinking competition in a southern Russian town ended in tragedy with the winner dead and several runners-up in intensive care. And if everyone gets hungry there's always some potato salad to chow down. What is it with Slavic nations and excess?

3. While on former Communist nations making a go of it in the realities of capitalism, there's this: Polish grannies who have swapped doilies for G-strings in a bid to save the ancient art of crochet are being swamped with orders from abroad. The Thais haven't been caught out either, with a tea-scented pantyliner.

Finally, it could be worse. You could get home to find out you've been left for Dracula: A young mother says her partner has dumped her to become a vampire. Or you could open the paper and discover Bill Clinton is reportedly set to become the face of a men's clothing brand based in China.

Just remember, Swedish telcos suck.