From today's unlinkable SCMP. I'm going to enter the article verbatim, with a few sarcastic comments in between:

Mystery surrounds drunken expat's four storey fall

A drunken man was injured in a mysterious four-storey fall from a Wan Chai short-stay hotel after he checked in with five young women yesterday.

Promising start. so far we've got "drunken", "expat", "short-stay hotel" and "mysterious". Not to mention "five young women".

The 42-year-old Briton arrived at the Victoria Hotel in Jaffe Road with the women at 3:25am, a hotel receptionist said. The man appeared to be drunk and was carried by the women into one of two second-floor rooms they had rented.

Ah, he's a Brit, a Pom. That explains at least some of it.

However 10 minutes later the man ran out of the room and left the hotel through its rear exit on the second floor.

As the five women searched the hotel for their companion in the hotel, the man was discovered by a watchman lying semi-conscious on the first-flor canopy of the building in a read lane.

Really?

Police believe he feel out of a window from the fifth floor. His fall was apparently broken by a clothes drying rack on the fourth floor before he landed on the first-floor canopy. The man was taken to Ruttonjee Hospital where his condition was described as stable last night.

Stable condition. That's a relief.

When he regained consiousness in hospital, he reportedly told police that he had been drinking heavily but failed to elaborate.

Really? Drinking heavily, failed to elaborate. There's a right to drunken silence in HK.

But wait, here's the punchline (my emphasis):

The hotel receptionist said the five women had left before policemen arrived. A police spokeman said initial investigations indicated no suspicious circumstances.

Nothing suspicious, carry on, nothing to see here then.