One of the great aspects of living with a family in Hong Kong is you can hire an amah (helper). They have a mandated minimum wage which is a pittance for us, yet considered an outstanding salary by their standards. They come from the Philippines, Indonesia and to a lesser extent other Asia countries including Mainland China and they earn more than many of their compatriots do back home. There many different kinds of people that do this job and you cannot generalise about them. You get the religious ones, the strange ones, the ones that use their day off to earn extra money (I'll let you imagine how), the ones looking for a husband, the ones running away from something, the ones supporting families. Often a combination of some or even all of these.

Our helper Jackie is a religious one. She keeps very little of her wage for herself, sending most of it back to the Philippines to her extended family. She gets on well with kids and Misti. It is clear she would dearly love kids of her own but her attitude is she will wait for God to provide. She works 6 days a week, starting her day about 6:30am taking Misti for a walk, finishing around 8pm after our dinner. She cleans the house daily, helps with the girls, sometimes cooks and often babysits. By all accounts we are good employers - a walk around the car park at 11pm will usually have several helpers washing cars and I have seen people talk to their helpers like they were sub-human (and this includes kids).

It is 6 months since Jackie started with us. As a middle class Aussie family we never had anything like this back in Oz. Mrs M chose to stay at home with the kids rather than returning to work so there was really no need. To have her around is a luxury we constantly appreciate. Many of the menial but necessary chores around the home are done for us and this gives us more time with the girls. Plus having a constant babysitter on hand allows for much more flexibility in our social lives, especially Mrs M during the week.

Jackie lives with us. She has her own quarters, which are small but seperate from the rest of the apartment. However even after 6 months it feels strange to have a non-family member living in the house. Think about that - you have a person living in your house, not a family member, not a flat-mate but an employee. It leads to seemingly small changes in your home living. We have to be careful of what we say in front of her, because the amah community is small and word travels fast. She has her regular duties, but then we're aware she doesn't have enough to do all day. She is part of our experiences here but she is not a part of our family. The idea of your home as your haven from the outside world is slightly altered because a little bit of the outside world lives with you.

There are many issues that come from having her around. We don't want her to be idle but it's silly just making up jobs for the sake of it. There's only a certain amount that needs to be done. We want the girls brought up a certain way and Jackie has to get used to that. We also have to learn that sometimes she will do things differently to how we would do them. It even gets down to remembering to put clothes on if you're walking around the house. I'm not saying we're nudists, but if I'm off to the kitchen for some water I'll put something on even if I know Jackie is in her room. It makes me a lot more aware in my own home. It's not that I'm uncomfortable, it's just that I need to keep reminding myself my family's home is someone else's home too.

As I said, it's strange and I'm not used to it yet. I hope I don't get used to it either. That will be a sign I've been here too long.